You Hold My Pieces [completed]

Do You See Me?

Listen to :
The love you left behind by Michael schulte

There he goes, my Knight in shining amour. I take a deep breath as he walks past me to take in as much of his scent as I can. I stand by my locker sinking deeper and deeper into the quick sand of all the feelings I have been fighting and trying to hide. He looks in my direction and I just smile sheepishly with the hope that maybe this is the one day my prince does more than just smile at me and wave but as always he walks past me without a word.

They say patience pays but the more I wait for him to save me from all the feelings inside of me, the more it pains. I am sure that right now in this hallway I am not the only girl fantasizing about being with Kyle Adams but I can not stop myself despite the fact that he seems so in love with my best friend . I know it's wrong but I can't help imagining what it would be like to be her. Most girls are jealous of how Jennifer looks, from her luscious brown hair to her perfectly symmetrical face. She is a few inches taller than I am but her legs look longer and better. I have always looked like an average girl standing next to a runway model when I stand next to her but I was never jealous of who she was. I just wished to be the one who's hand was in Kyle's .
Every night I asked myself the questions I wish I had the courage to ask Kyle ,
"What makes her so much better than me?
What makes her just everything I can never be?
What makes her your every dream and fantasy?
Do you believe that maybe one day it can be me? "

Despite the fact that I always feel guilty afterwards I let myself have these moments because I am convinced it is the only thing that is keeping me alive. The bell rings and I grab my books in a hurry and rush off to my chemistry lesson. I get in just in time and take my usual seat next to my lab partner Liam Andrews who laughs at me after figuring out why I was so late. He looks at me his eyes glowing with humour and whispers,
"Did you speak finally to your prince today?"

"What do you think? I find it very amusing that you are encouraging me to make moves on my ' best friend's' boyfriend."

"Don't get all worked up now, I'm not Jen's best friend and I am definitely not the one hitting on her 6 foot 2", he chuckles loud enough for the teacher to hear him and in turn the latter gives both of us a death stare. We both sink deep into our sits as usual.

I go through all my lessons half asleep and half day dreaming. I can not help it since most of them are ferociously exhausting and boring. The lunch bell rings and I drag myself to the cafeteria. I scan the room despite the fact that I already know where I am supposed to sit. I love my friends but the rest of the popular kids that they hang around are really more of acquaintances to me than they are friends so don't ask me why I dread the lunch hour. I also hate lunch because I have to go through a whole hour of watching my crush and my best friend being all lovey dovey in front of me but I can not show weakness at this point, can I? So I walk to my seat right next to Liam and I just sit there chewing on my carrot slices not really paying attention to the conversation.

Jen looks at me suspiciously and calls me in a way that makes me realize she had been calling me for a while. I look at her and she asks me if I am okay not missing the fact that I haven't been myself lately. I just brush it off claiming that I am sick which was becoming a tradition nowadays . Kyle looks at me with a glimpse of concern and I feel my heart melt. I decide then and there that I nolonger had an appetite and I get up to leave. Everyone gives me a questioning look except Liam who is the only one aware of what is going on inside me. He gets up and tells everyone that he is walking me to the school nurse's office and we walk outside the school walls to the sporting fields to get some fresh air.

We sit by the bleachers before Liam starts to speak. He has this tendency of giving me long lectures and I only pick up the important parts knowing that he will probably remind me the next day.

"You know Ronnie, I'm tired of watching you act so love sick and petty. I get it, you think like Kyle but it's just infatuation. It will blow out soon you just ... "

" I am not infatuated Liam", I say frustrated, "you just don't understand what I am going through, okay. I'm a mess and as stupid as it sounds obsessing over this guy is getting my mind off things and I promise you it's nothing big. Pretty soon I'll be over it and all the my other problems"

He keeps quiet for a moment trying to pick the right words to say then he just looks at me with so much sympathy and says

"I don't want you to get hurt over someone who doesn't even care about you. I also don't even know why you and Jen are still acting like the best of friends after what she did to you."

I just keep quiet and breathe trying not to think about what Liam had said. I decide to change the topic and the mood so I jump up all cheery and take Liam's hand and drag him to class.

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