You Hold My Pieces [completed]

Forever In A Day

Listen to : Walls by Ollie

Veronica's POV

When you are drunk
When you are not thinking straight
That's when you remember how much I mean to you
I could run and try to forget you
I know you miss me when you are in pain
When she hurts you that when you call me
What's shameful is that I will bring the gin just to hear you say you'd be better off with me
It's not that I hate the one you love
I just wonder why you stay with her if I am the one you love
Do you really think about me every time you say "love"
Or you just tell me that to keep me wrapped around your finger
Do you tell your friends about me?
If they honestly knew wouldn't they be telling you to leave her and love me?
Or they like her because she seems better than me.
I

heard some guys say I bring out the worst in you
Is that the reason we are not friends anymore?
It does not matter anyway because we both know we are better off as something more
That's why she hates me so much
We fell apart because of you but until now you still haven't made a choice
Heaven knows you're hurting three people instead of one
If I am not the one for you why don't you just tell me
Instead of ignoring me when people are around then being my friend in private
But if it's her
If she is not the one, why are you still trying to make it work
Do you know the girls call you "trophy wife" in private
They doubt she even likes you
So please just let her go, maybe then we can all be happy
You know she will cry and turn this on you
But her tears will dry because then she won't be stuck with someone who doesn't know what he wants

I slam my journal shut and sigh heavily exhausted from feeling the same way I felt when I wrote those words. Kyle had been good to me but somehow the pain I felt from liking him when he took me for granted was stopping me from thinking rationally. I hoped that with time I would think clearly but Malachi was causing me confusion. Part of me wanted to be with him, he was always straightforward about the way he felt with me but it was shady that he only wanted me when Kyle wanted me. I felt like I was some competition prize and it hurt. First I had survived being Kyle's secret friend for years and now this. As much as Malachi's hero story made sense to me and everyone else I still had my doubts. I wanted to find out everything for myself but this was my final year and spending time chasing theories that have nothing to do with school was not something I could afford to do. I never wanted to make someone feel like an option but I could not make up my mind. Kyle or Malachi? If I did not make the choice myself the choice would be made for me and I could not help but think I would lose both of them. I did not have Liam anymore so if I lost them both I would just be lonely.

I fell back onto my bed and closed my eyes. I was caught up trying to clear my head when I heard a knock on my door. I opened the door and motioned for my dad to come in but he did not move.
"Someone is here to see you. " I could tell from his expression that he was not exactly having the best day.

" Bad day at work? " I ask and my level of concern gets higher when he shakes his head.
He looked like he had just seen a ghost and I was worried that he was very sick. I felt guilty for not being around much and the thought that my father had been sick and I did not know made my stomach turn.

"Dada, are you okay? " my eyes were watering, the guilt was eating me alive

" I'm not sick pumpkin, just go downstairs I'll be right with you. " he touched my cheek affectionately and looked deep into my eyes. The misery in his eyes was making me uncomfortable, I had not seen my dad like this since my mother left.

" Ronnie " it sounded more like a question than a call. I looked down at the bottom of the stairs and my heart sank.

" What the hell? " I screamed as I looked back and forth from my dad to my mother.
My eyes welled up and it took me so much not to break down. My father dropped his hand from my face and he squeezed my hand in turn. I wanted to run back into my room and never come out but part of me wanted to yell and throw things at her.

"Dada, what is she doing here? " my voice was breaking and I was choking from trying to hold back my tears. Dad's silence was not helping at all he had not said anything in a while and I could not even hear the sound of his breathing despite him being so close to me.

" What do you want? " I shouted at the woman standing in my house. She was as good as a stranger to me at this point. No calls, no texts, nothing and she had just left without a warning and left no trace of her existence.

" Get out! "  I shouted and screamed the words at the same time

" Baby " she pleaded with me.

" Don't you dare call me that, you lost that right a long time ago. What type of mother runs away from her baby. You think you just left dad, you didn't. You left me too, you left us. You never called or sent me a text. How many birthdays passed and I looked forward to each one hoping you'd at least send me a text, but you didn't. So don't you dare call me baby, get out. "

" Ronnie " my father squeezed my hand harder and pulled me close to him trying to call me down.

" I'm sorry. " she said hesitantly.

" Go back to your family Emilia. " I said much calmer and removed myself from my father's grasp as I started walking down the stairs.
When I reached her she took a step back and I just looked at her dead in the eyes and shook my head.

" You are not welcome here. " I said quietly drying my tears with the back of my hands. I turned and grabbed my car keys from the hook on the  wall and I banged the door on my way out.