Breathless...

𝗗𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗻𝘆, 𝗠𝗮𝗴𝗶𝗰𝗸, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗖𝗿𝘂𝗰𝗶𝗯𝗹𝗲𝘀

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Simon's POV

            I'm frozen. Stuck in the very same spot. Staring a few feet ahead, where Baz was standing as he witnessed Agatha kiss me.

"Simon, what is going on?" Agatha's voice drags me back to the real world. She's snapping her long fingers in front of my eyes, as if trying to break some trance.

"Why in Merlin's name would you kiss me, Agatha?!" I yell, moving away from her her spindly fingers. I'm tugging on my curls, certain I might rip them out any moment.

"I'm your girlfriend, Si." She deadpans, folding her arms defensively.

"But you don't even love me!" I whine, clearly frustrated. After I've seen the way Baz looks at me, the way Baz kisses me, I know that whatever Agatha and I have isn't love.

"Well, why are you so upset?" She's very confused, and I don't miss how she doesn't even attempt to deny my accusations on her nonexistent feelings for me.

"I fucking love him, Agatha, I fucking love him!"  Anger bubbles in my voice, I can feel my magick rise to my throat, more bitter than bile.

"What. . ." Agatha's manicured eyebrows shoot up in disbelief, her arms falling to her sides—slack, as she tries to comprehend what I'm saying.

"He's my—he was gonna be my boyfriend. . . . fucking hell—" my magick's heat is so intense, I can practically feel my blood curdling when she interrupts me.

"Boyfriend? Sure, Simon. You're delusional, he's your nemesis." Agatha deadpans, she's in denial. Can't blame her. I once was, too. But that doesn't stop me from getting even more furious.

"Well does your nemesis fall asleep in your arms?!" It burns me to snap at her, but I cannot control myself any longer. Smoke rises between us. My blue eyes spark like Baz's blue flames.

"You're sleeping with him. . ." she almost questions. When it dawns upon her, I go off. But instead of exploding magick, I burst into an apology of sorts.

"Yeah. And you kissed me, in front of him. Look, Aggie, I'd love to be friends, because we both know that we're not really in love. I'm really sorry for cheating on you, I actually came here to break up. I dunno, Agatha. I am sorry, I was an arsehole, but I don't want you to hold this against me. It was difficult, Baz needed me and. . . I've been in love with him for a while now. Before I ever kissed him. Back when you weren't even in Watford, you were on vacation. I'm sorry for cheating on you, but I'm not sorry about Baz. I love him." I spill out, breathlessly. I'm not so eloquent, but I believe I got my point across.
Through my entire monologue she just stares at me, pursed lips, furrowed eyebrows. Thinking.

"It's alright, Simon, I would've done the same. I only have one question. . ." she says thoughtfully.

"Anything," I can't believe she's willing to forgive me. I wouldn't forgive myself. But I s'pose it has to do with the fact that she had no feelings I was hurting, since she wasn't interested in our relationship.

"Is he. . . everything you've ever hoped for?" She asks, as if this question determines the entire course of our lives. I s'pose it just might.

"He's everything I couldn't even imagine." I sigh dreamily, if Baz were here he'd roll his eyes at me. Bazzy. . . .

"Then what are you still doing here, Chosen? Go get the one who will always choose you, Simon. Go get him." She says it as if this is written in fate. As if I was meant to fall in love with Baz. As if I was chosen for this Vampire. As if this boy were my destiny.
The entire Magickal World whispers of my fate. I am the Chosen One. My destiny is already determined: I need to defeat the Humdrum.
            With destinies though, you need to live up to them. They are only opportunities, not events. Nobody knows what'll really happen, it's only guessed at. Only desperately cast.
             But I s'pose there is more to me than just a sword, more to me than just bursting Magick, and a World to save.
             (Basil said so every night, purring into my ear whenever the Mage's expectations weighed me down. )
Maybe. . . I'm also meant to love. After all, Baz lost his mother, and the Crucible gave him me. The Crucible cast us together. We could've chosen to live in bitter resentment. But he chose me. He chose to love me hopelessly.
             I choose Basil. I need him to know, there is nothing I'd rather live for.
     Time to pave my own path, a path with more than just Magickal destruction. A path with love, happiness and my Bazzy boo.