Why Do I Deny...? (Austlan Cashby)

19

Alan's POV

Austin was drumming his fingers on his thigh repeatedly as he drove, he was getting antsy. We were on our way to a show, well a festival. It was our last one of the year, and basically after the show we go right into the studio to start writing a new album. We're all pretty excited.

"Relax." I stopped his tapping by lacing my fingers in his. His body relaxed a little, but he was still tense.

"Do you want me to drive?" I asked. We still had about half an hour of driving and it was pretty early.

"No, I'm fine. I just need music or something." He flipped on the radio, leaving whatever station was on. He's pretty nervous, which is unlike him. I mean, we haven't played a show since Warped, but I don't know what's up with him.

"Really, Aust. What's wrong?" I asked.

"Nothing. Nothing is wrong, I'm fine." He snapped, pulling his hand away suddenly and placing it on the steering wheel. Okay then.

We sat in silence for awhile, crappy pop sings playing on the radio. I felt like if I even breathed wrong he'd get angry at me.

"Alan, I'm sorry."

"Go on."

"It's just that, well, my dad's coming to the show today and I'm nervous for you to meet him."

"So? I've met him a bunch if times before." I shrugged.

"Yeah, I know. But you've known him as my best friend, not my..." He trailed off.

"Boyfriend?"

"Yeah." He breathed out.

"Austin, he's your father. It's not like he doesn't approve or anything, he can read Twitter or Instagram. It's not like we're a secret."

"My dad can barely figure out how to call me, he can't figure out that stuff." Austin replied. I didn't respond right away, so he spoke again.

"Plus, I um... Ihaven'ttoldhim." Austin spoke quietly and slurred his words together.

"Huh?"

Austin sighed, "I haven't told him."

"Told him what?" I asked, getting slightly angry.

"About... us."

"You what?" I asked, I thought maybe I hadn't heard him clearly.

"I'm sorry! I was scared, it's not like I can just bring it up in a casual conversation, you know. 'Great weather we're having', 'I'm dating Alan, yeah the weather's great'. It was never the right moment to bring it up."

I didn't respond, and gave him the silent treatment for the rest of the drive.

We got to the venue like ten minutes later and I got out of the car as fast as possible, still avoiding Austin.

I said hello to the guys, and took off for a walk around the venue to clear my head. I feel like playing shows jinxes our relationship. But without playing shows we wouldn't;t be a band and I would've never met Austin. Or any friends that I've made while being in the band. Kinda funny to think that if one thing had never happened, how different life would be. Huh.

I caught a few sets, continuing to walk around. I camped out at our merch and met some fans, but hadn't heard anything from Austin. Was I wrong to be mad? No, of course not. We've been dating for almost four months and he hasn't even told his dad. Yeah, I have a right to be  mad. I told my parents almost right away. It's not like he has a bad relationship with him either, they talk on a regular basis. So I don't know. Is he ashamed of me?