Why Do I Deny...? (Austlan Cashby)

5

Alan's POV

I opened my eyes slowly. Shit, it burns. I closed them again and blinked a bunch of times. That's better. My head feels like it's about to explode. I don't even know where I am. I focused my vision, the room was spinning. I think I'm in the front lounge of the bus. The only question is how I got here. Last thing I remember is dancing with Tony and Jaime. But that was on their bus. How did I get here?

I froze, realizing something was wrapped around my waist. I moved my head, trying not to move the rest of me. Wait. Is that, Austin? When did he get here? And why is he cuddled up to me on the couch? He had his head rested on my shoulder, his breath tickling my neck. In the weirdest way this feels kind of... Nice. Wait, Alan what the fuck are you thinking? I really need to get laid.

"Uh... Austin?" I whispered, this was gonna be awkward. He groaned and wiggled beside me, causing me to laugh.

"Seriously. You need to let to of me." I tried again. This resulted in him only pulling me closer.

"No thanks. You're a comfy pillow." He smirked.

"We'll if you don't let me go I'm going to piss all over you." I warned. He let go of me real fast. I stood up slowly. I could tell he was watching me. I literally felt like I was dying. Everything hurt.

I somehow managed to make my way to the bathroom. Man, did I have to pee. I walked through the bunks on the way back to the front, it didn't seem like anyone else was up.

Austin was occupying one of the couches, so I sat on the other one across from him.

"What? Am I not good enough for you?" Austin asked, propping himself up on his elbows. I nodded.

"You were comfy though." He pouted, giving me the puppy dog face. I shook my head "It's not gonna work, Carlile."

"Please, Alan?" He continued to beg. I shook my head once again.

"I'll be your best friend."

"You already are. Nice try though."

"Why are you being a butt?" Austin whined.

"Why do you wanna cuddle with me so badly?" I asked.

"Cause, I just do. Now come over here." He instructed.

"Can we at least go to my bunk? I feel like shit."

"How about we grab some aspirin, sleep and watch movies all day in my bunk?" He asked. I nodded "That sounds absolutely perfect."

We separated, me grabbing some snacks, a six pack of soda and a couple of waters. Austin was getting aspirin and some movies.

Austin was sitting in his bunk when I got there, he was fixing his DVD player.

"Here." he handed me the bottle of aspirin. I unscrewed the cap, taking two pills. I could feel his eyes on me the whole time.

"All set?" he asked. I nodded, putting the bottle down. He moved back in his bunk, letting me climb in and close the curtain behind me. The light was killing my head. Austin lucked out, since he was so big, he got the biggest bunk. You could sit up and comfortably fit two people.

"You know, I've never actually been in your bunk." I said.

"Seriously?" Austin asked. I nodded.

"Well, let me give you the tour." He said, making me laugh. It hurts to laugh.

I glanced around, noticing there was a bunch pictures around the bunk. Of me, the band, his dad, and various other people.

"I like this one." I grabbed the frame, a picture of Austin and his mom before she passed away.

"Yeah. Me too." He smiled sadly.

"You miss her. Don't you?"

"More than anything. But I know she's looking out for me up there." He said, pointing up.

We sat in silence for a second as he looked at the picture, a smile spreading across his face.

"You wanna know what my favorite picture is?" he asked. I nodded. "This one."

I looked to the picture he was pointing at. It was of the two of us.

"The day you joined the band." Austin smiled. I had my short, bright red hair and Austin still had his longer hair. He had his arm around my shoulder and I stuck my tongue out and had my arms thrown up in the air. Austin had a giant smile on his face.

"Why's it your favorite?" I asked.

"I was going through a rough patch before you came along. You know, the band was basically falling apart. Members were swapping what felt like daily. My life was in pieces too. With everything that'd happened. I'd just came back to the band. When joined the band, my life started to piece itself back together. Almost like you were my saving grace. I'm thankful for having you anyway." Austin explained.

I smiled, wrapping my arms around him tightly and burying my far in his neck.

"And I'm thankful for joining his band. You're my saving grace, Austin." I admitted. We sat in silence once again. I don't think he knew how to respond. I'm not even sure why I said that. I didn't even know I felt that way until the words escaped my mouth.

"Anyway. What movie should we watch?" Austin broke the silence.

"Doesn't matter to me." I shrugged. He decided on a movie and put it in, grabbing the remote and getting under his blankets. I sat there awkwardly, not exactly sure what to do.

"Come here you." He pulled me under the covers with him. I laid away from him. This was weird.

"Why are you so far away?" Austin half laughed. I hesitantly moved closer to him. What was with his fascination with me today?

Austin wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into his chest. He was really warm. I shivered under his touch. At first it was uncomfortable, but soon enough I melted into his touch. I missed cuddling.

We watched a few movies in almost complete silence, just enjoying each other's company. Austin was an extremely good pillow. Had to share that.

"Ugh..."

"What the...?"

"Am I dead?" two voices echoed through the bunk area. I couldn't help but laugh.

"What happened last night?"

"My head feels like it's gonna fall off. Fuck."

"I think Phil and Tino are up." Austin whispered amusingly.

"The two of you need to shut up. You get drunk all the time, you should be used to it by now." Aaron yelled at them. Well he's in a great mood. He gave them aspirin and they shut up and fell back asleep.

"Austinnnnn!" I whined.

"Alannnnnnn!" he whined back, a smile tugging at his lips.

"I'm tired." I pouted, sitting up and crossing my arms over me chest.

"Then sleep." Austin said, giving me a 'duh' look.

"Okay!" I said happily, cruling up into a ball into Austin's chest. I could get used to this.