Why Do I Deny...? (Austlan Cashby)

8

Austin's POV

Please shoot me. Put me out of my misery.

"Alan!" Maddie squealed. Once again. Oh my fucking god, shut up. Giggles erupted from the bunk across from me.

"I win!" Alan yelled.

"And what is your prize?" Maddie asked sweetly, probably knowing the answer.

"A kiss." Alan laughed. Then it went silent. Maybe I can actually get some sleep.

It was quiet for a few minutes, which seemed off.

"AH!" Never mind. God dammit.

"Alan, I will come down there and duck tape your freaking mouths of you don't shut the fuck up! Some of us are trying to sleep! Have sex quietly at least! I know you don't get much action than Austin. But still. I will literally kill you." Tino screamed at them. That should shut them up. Finally.

Wait...

"What?" I yelled, realizing he was talking about me. I heard laughing throughout the bus.

"I hate you all." I grumbled. They always pick on me.

"You're an idiot, Austin." Phil laughed. I chose to ignore him.

*****

So Maddie is leaving. I've been counting down to this moment. We'd just gotten off stage and Maddie had to leave. Alan said something about a shoot she had get up early for tomorrow. She's a model.

"Babe, I'm gonna miss you!" Maddie squealed, the piercing sound ringing in my ears. I can't wait for her to fucking leave.

"I bet I'll miss you more!" Alan slung his arms around her waist. She giggled, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him in for a kiss.

"Get a room." Tino yelled, throwing a water bottle in their direction. They ignored it and continued on with their make-out session.

"I gotta go." Maddie pulled away, pouting. Why am I watching all of this? Ugh, I need a life.

"Aw, you're leaving me so soon." Alan's pout matched his girlfriend's. They literally stood there staring at each other for another couple of minutes.

After what seems like forever, a dozen hugs and half a dozen kisses, Maddie finally left. Thank god. But right before she left, she whispered something into Alan's ear and both looked over at me.

"Austin?" Alan turned towards me, resting his hand on the back of his neck.

"Hm?"

"We're you enjoying the view there?" He chuckled.

"Mostly. Minus the part that someone was all over my ginger." I smirked.

"Oh, your ginger? You own me now?" I nodded.

"You're jealous, aren't you?" Alan crossed his arms, seeming amused. I nodded again.

"You have me back don't worry. Now come on, bus call's soon. Let's watch a movie or something." Alan grabbed my hand, jerking me forward. He lead me onto the bus, into the front lounge and onto one of the couches in the front lounge and sat on top of me.

"Hey, Aust." He smiled, wrapping his arms around my neck to keep him balanced. My breath caught in my throat. I coughed in attempt to hide it.

"You know you still have to talk to them, right?" I remembered.

"God dammit! Why did you have to remember?" He yelled, getting up and pacing back and forth.

"What is such a big deal?" I asked.

"A big deal? What's such a big deal? The big de- nevermind." Alan started to raise his voice but stopped, shaking thought from his head.

"What's going on with you lately?"

"Nothing. Nothing at all. Nevermind." He muttered. Is this worth the argument?

We sat in silence for a minute or two, while he paced back and forth.

"I can't. I just can't. I-I..."

"I'm hungry!" The front door flew open, the guys piling on.

"Tino, you're fat enough. Not eating is a good thing, fatty." Phil mocked him. I chuckled a bit, trying to hide my entertainment.

After Tino grabbed a bag of chips, the three of them sat down on the couch across from me. Alan was still pacing back and forth. Everyone's eyes followed his pacing.

"Do you have something to say to them?" I asked. Alan stopped dead in his tracks.

"I'm sorry for being so distant lately. I've just missed home and Maddie. But I'm fine now. Sorry." He said, finally sitting down next to me.

"That's it? You were homesick?" I asked, slightly confused. Alan nodded slowly.

"Okay. Wanna watch a movie or something?" Aaron asked, changing subjects. Seriously though, homesick? We all get homesick from time to time. No big deal, but whatever.

"I'll go grab one." Phil said, disappearing into the back.

"I'll get more food." Tino smirked, licking the remains if the empty chip bag from his fingers. I shook my head I at him. He's certainly special.

Alan out his legs across my lap, drumming his fingers on his thigh while I played with the hem on his jeans in pure boredom. I glanced up, meeting eyes with Aaron who was smirking at us. I decided to ignore him. Not in the mood.

I looked back over at Alan, who was staring at his moving fingers. He look so concentrated, almost like he was think about something. Huh. I feel bad that he misses home, but I do too.

Alan's POV

I can't believes just lied. I never lie. Especially not to Austin. I hate to lie to him. I feel guilty now.

The fact us that u didn't want to bring up with the guys what was bothering me so bad, they'd just make fun if me. But me, gay? What? Since when? And with Austin? I'm straight as can be. I'm attracted to girls. I know it. But... Austin. I have a soft spot it that boy. He's my best friend.

I looked up from my fingers for a second, my eyes instantly meeting his. His percent brown eyes that turned up when he smiled. That smile, can light up any room. And he's always so positive. Even after everything he's been through. I wish I could be like that. So carefree.

"You okay?" He asked, putting his hand in my knee. I almost melted under his touch. I nodded slowly. He shrugged and went back to playing with the hem of my jeans. I couldn't help bus watch.

I've come to a conclusion.

I'm falling for my best friend.

"I need a drink."