Why Do I Deny...? (Austlan Cashby)

12

Alan's POV

Austin wouldn't even make eye contact with me during the set. That's it. We need to sort our shit.

"Austin. I need to talk to you, now." I grabbed his arm, yanking him off stage. I dropped his arm, sighing.

"What the fuck, dude? You going from kissing me to fucking acting like I don't exist!" I yelled at him, letting out all my anger and frustration.

"I-I'm sorry." He stuttered softly.

"Sorry! You're sorry? That's all you can say! You have no idea how fucking pissed at you I am right now! You kissed me! And then fucking ran away!"

"Alan, I-I..."

"Exactly. You can't even stand up for yourself. Should've known." I half-laughed, shaking my head. After Austin said nothing, I started to walk away.

"Alan, wait." His voice sounded pained. I turned towards him.

"I'm sorry. I got scared. You didn't even move! You have absolutely no reason to be flipping out at me, Alan! You didn't even fucking move! I'm sorry for kissing you. I know it was wrong, but I-I got caught up in the moment. I'm so sorry. I hate myself for liking you." He sighed, running his hands over his face.

"You-you like me?" I asked, my voice becoming softer.

"So, so fucking much. Alan, I kissed you. I-I just couldn't control myself. I-I'm so sorry. So, so sorry."

"You like me?" I asked again, nothing else being able to come out of my mouth. He nodded sadly.

"I'm sorry, Alan. I really wish I didn't. I just can't help it. You're just... well you." He muttered, more to himself then anything. I didn't say anything, I was still trying to process what was going on. Austin likes me? Me? ME!

"I really just hope this won't ruin our friendship, though I'm completely sure it will. I-I understand if you never wanna talk to me again. But, we need you in this band. The fans need you. Don't just quit because my stupid feelings got in the way and fucked everything up. They need you. We need you. I need you, Alan. I really need you. Please, please don't leave." Austin looked like he was about to cry. I can't watch him cry.

I took his face in my hand, putting my lips to his. He instantly responded, closing the gap between us. The kiss deepened, Austin grabbing hold on my waist, trying to pull me closer though we were already pressed harshly against each other.

I pulled away before it got any more heated. We literally were just off to the side of the stage. People could see us, and I don't think they want to see the two of us making out between bands.

Austin took his hand on mine proudly, entwining our fingers. I swung our arms back and forth as we walked. I have no idea where we are or where we're going, but I don't really care. I'm with Austin.

And he was finally mine.

Austin's POV

"Where are we going?" Alan asked as I lead him past our bus.

"You'll see." I was bringing him to the tree I sat in all morning. It was almost sunset, which would make the view picture perfect.

Me and Alan. Who knew? I'm not sure what the future brings us, but I'll enjoy every second I have with Alan. This boy makes me crazily happy.

We stopped under the tree a few minutes later, Alan looking at me with a confused face.

"Climb it." I said, gesturing towards the tree. He kept the same expression on his face. "Humor me."

It took him a second before he finally gave in, starting to climb the tree.

"You just wanted me to go first so you could stare at my ass, didn't you?" He asked about halfway up.

"That, and to keep you safe. Make sure you don't fall." I told him.

"That's cute an perverted at the same time." He laughed.

"Well, that's me for ya."

"And that's what I love about you."

I stopped him at branch closer to the top, climbing in beside him. He had a death grip on the branch and a worried look on his face.

"You okay, Alan?" I asked.

He nodded, "Couldn't be better."

That was a lie. I wrapped my arm around his waist, hooking my fingers onto his belt loop. He leaned into my side, wrapping his arms around my midsection, hugging me.

"So why are we up here?" Alan asked after sitting in silence for a moment.

"This is where I've been all day. I wanted to show you how beautiful the view is from up here. You can see everything." I said.

"This is where you were all day?" He asked, I nodded.

"I literally ran around the venue for over two hours, asking every person that walked by if they'd seen you. I searched everywhere for you, Austin. i was worried about you and was beating myself about no talking to you sooner." He explained. I nodded once again.

"I was scared, Alan. I mean you froze. I thought I ruined everything." I sighed.

"I don't think you ruined everything." He smiled, I smiled back to him.

"That was then, let's just move on. It was for the better in this case." I said, this time he nodded. "Also, I brought you up here so you could see the sunset."

"It bet it'll be perfect." He said, snuggling into me more.

"Just like you."

"I'm not perfect, Aust."

"You are to me, and that's all that matters."

"Um... t-thank you." He stuttered, clearly stunned by the compliment.

We listened to the bands below, Sleeping With Sirens closing on the stage closest to us. They sounded great. Even from all the way up here.

"Look at that! it's beautiful!" Alan pointed, showing me the sunset. The sky was a mixture of pinks and yellows, the clouds almost non existent. I noticed in the background, "If I'm James Dean, You're Audrey Hepburn" was playing. Perfect.

I put a finger, below Alan's chin, turning his head. I connected my lips with his, cupping his cheek. He smiled into the kiss, tightening his grip on my midsection before I pulled away.

I rested my forehead against his, both of us with wide smiles across our faces and I whispered:

"They say that love is forever, your forever is all that I need. Please stay as long as you need. Can't promise that things won't be broken, but I swear that I will never leave. Please stay forever with me."