we haven't talked in 3 days. it's new years and i have a pit in my stomach. i miss him so much and i am so sad.
i want him, but i can't speak to luke. i almost called, but i couldn't. i was afraid. i am afraid.
i don't want to tell you that i kissed calum back or that i want to inflict pain on myself just so i don't feel numb. i love luke so much and i don't want to hurt him because i love him so much. i may be over thinking this, but i just don't want you to be angry.
my phone began to ring and i saw that it was luke. i was so tempted to pick up, but then i began to think.
i don't even know what to do anymore. i'm lost and not okay. i'm so angry at myself. i should never have kissed calum or cut or any of that...
i put in headphones and began to blast Twenty One Pilots. I let the music drown all of the sadness out of me.
(a/n:)
FilleR
chapter 34 question:
what grade are you in? (or year idk)
-ashley xx
