SNL 2020

Plots

Qing: Fuck do I know. That's why we are watching it.

Me: (scowling at him) You could guess.

Qing: (smirking) So you could make this a competition to see which of one guessed it right?

Me: Why not?

Qing: Or we could just search the internet for the answer.

Me: Where's the fun in that? No cheating.

Qing and I said our respective guesses and now all we need to do is finish this series to see which of us is right.

Me: (on my third slice of pizza) Do you think I could be a president material?

Qing: (choking) What?!

Me: What? I think I would make a good president.

Qing: (frowning) How did you calculate that in your brain?

Me: I care for people's welfare. Isn't that the most important thing? You care for people.

Qing: (thoughtful) True. To be a public servant, you have to genuinely care for people.

Me: Yes. And I think I am good at choosing people. I have a good instinct that will be useful if I am assemble my cabinet in my administration.

Qing: (blinking) Your bestfriends are Meng and Xiao.

Me: And your point?

Qing: My point is they are great people but I don't think I'll trust any of them to be your Secretary of States.

Me: Then the Goddess will be my Secretary of States. She will charm other world leaders to continue having good relations with us.

Qing: Hmmm...not a bad decision. Who will be your Chief of Staff?

Me: My Baba, of course! He is great at managing people.

Qing: Your sense of nepotism, really...

Me: Mama will be my Secretary of Defense because she is a tiger everytime she defends me. Jin will be my Secretary of Finance because he is a well of gold and I will need him to always fill my budget coffers. Your Baba will be my Secretary of Economics. Zhu Gege will be my Prime Minister because he is an overachiever who will not slack away from his job. I could have some time to relax and just give him all the work. Pau and JiJi will be my Press Secretary. Your Mama will be my Chief Advisor.

Qing: Wait, where am I in this scenario?

Me: You will be my spouse. My First Gentleman.

Qing: What? The one who will stand behind you all the time? The one who will be invited to ribbon cutting and will organize state picnics? No way!

Me: Huh? Why won't you want that? Why? Because if pricks your male ego to do all that?

Qing: No. Because I won't be good at those things. I will botch those jobs. I better lead your Secret Service. I will do all I can to protect you.

Me: You will be my bodyguard?

Qing: (grinning) Why not? I already love the role.

Me: Then who will be my spouse?

Qing: Lets put a fake spouse for you. Marry someone else while I be your bodyguard and we will have a secret affair.

Me: Wow, this conversation started as a political series and ended up as a soap opera. You want to inject a scandalous affair in my administration? How dare you?!

Qing: We will install a secret passage from the President's bedroom that connects to the bodyguard's room.

Me: (slapping my thigh) Okay! I am in! Secret affairs in secret passages it is! Wait, tell me someone will die and everyone will be a suspect.