Out Of My Head

"You are mine, (Y/N), remember that."

His eyes scanned back and forth over yours, looking for any flaw in your response. Searching your features for an ounce of denial or disbelief in your own answer, but there wasn't any. Your heart continued to snap as you noticed his clenched jaw and flared nostrils. Though he wouldn't admit it, he was hurt and you could see it.

"Why!?" His question came out quick. Too quick, his emotions were laced through every syllable like he hadn't taken the time to retract them as he usually did.

"I just can't." You whispered, afraid if your volume was any louder he'd come undone completely. His eyes fell to thin slits before he pushed your small frame away and stood to his feet.

"You're afraid. I sense it." Kylo's monotone had returned. He kept his back towards you as he placed his helmet on his head, the sound of the locks hissing shut filled the room followed by his heavy mechanical breathing.

"No. I'm not afraid.....I'm terrified!" You admitted, feeling the weight of it lift from your shoulders. Kylo spun around on his heels and marched towards you, snatching you up by the arms and pulling you close.

"You have no reason to be. You are powerful, you just need to tap into it." He exclaimed, lifting your chin so your eyes saw your reflection in his visor.

"Kylo, I'm not that person in those regressions..I can't be like that, like you."

"Like me?" He mocked. "A creature, as you've referred to me before?" Your heart finally fell to the pits of your belly, taking your courage and pride along with it. Your head dropped and your shoulders sank, he's done bad things but does that make him a bad person?

"That's not what I meant." You replied softly, unable to look into his visor knowing full and well his eyes have never left you.

"No?!" He mocked again, this time pushing you away and storming towards the kitchenette. "Isn't that why you hated me to begin with? Because I took all of those innocent lives on Jakku?"

"Kylo, stop.." You begged, not liking the direction things were headed. In all honesty, that was what you meant. You couldn't order someone to be hurt just because you were pissed off at the moment. You couldn't destroy entire planets or sink an entire fleet into deep space just like it was nothing and without remorse. That may have been who you were in the past, in those other lives, but that's not who you were in this one. You could never be the person or powerful being that he wanted you to be.

"Remember, acts of malice and evil corrupt kyber crystals, turning them red." He stepped out with his right foot and suddenly his saber sparked to life, hissing and buzzing only feet away from you. "What color do you see here, Little Starseed?"

"Kylo, stop!" You repeated as he stepped closer, bringing the glowing blade with him. You tried to move but he force pushed you back until your body met the chilling wall.

Your limbs were frozen in place, unable to barely twitch your fingers or toes. Kylo practically sprinted towards you, halted just as the tip of his saber cut the air between you. The heat from the blade danced across your flesh, tiny sparks jumping off in every direction as it burned tiny moisture particles in the air. He lifted the blade util you were staring at the tip directly. His heavy breathing synced with yours, both caught up in the silence with only the humming of his blade echoing about the room.

In an erratic motion, unplanned and poorly executed, Kylo ripped off his helmet and threw it to the floor. The red glow of his laser sword reflected in his eyes, making them appear as if the darkness in him was staring directly at you itself. You flinched when the blade roared through the air and slashed through the floor length mirror at your side. It crumbled into a million pieces of broken glass and ash.