Out Of My Head

"Nothing is ever your fault is it?"

"Unbelievable!" The force and pure rage that drove your outburst sent the word spiraling down the black reflective corridor, it bouncing off every surface possible and ricocheting from one side of the hall to the next. Any and all troopers, sanitation crew members, radar techs and First Order employees in general had their eyes set on you and your sudden combustion of anger. Your stomach churned with discontent as bile began to rise up your throat and all you saw was red.

"(Y/N), wait!" Val shouted after you as you abruptly spun on your heels and stormed towards your cabin. How could she? She knew how much that position meant to you. She knew all the hard work and months to years of training you put in just to get it and maintain it.

Hell, even if it drew you away from her for a while, you always talked about it before the spot was yours. You always told her about how Phasma said you would be a perfect fit and you would always show her the latest drills and new procedures. She always backed you up. The same things you were sure helped get her a "one up" on any other candidates for the position.

Your legs carried you swiftly to your room, but not fast enough away from your traitorous besty who was on your heels the entire time. Even when attempting to close the hatch, Val slipped in at the last moment, barely clearing the massive door before it clamped down on her blaster arm. What a shame that little fantasy of yours didn't come to fruition. What good is a trooper without a blaster arm......even if they are all terrible aims. 

Not a word was spoken between the two of you once the hatch hissed shut. You stared at each other, anticipating the next one's move. Heavy breaths filled the air along with tension and betrayal. Pain splayed across your features as you looked over your once best friend, standing in her glory, at the top of her game. Did she come here to gloat? Rub it in your face?

"How could you?" You started, throwing as much disgust into those three little words that you possibly could. You wanted to make it hurt, let her know how much this tore you apart.

"Let me explain." She begged, equipping her blaster to her hip and throwing her hands up in defense.

"Explain!?" You questioned. "you don't have to explain anything!"

"No, I think I do....If you'll let me."

"There is no need! You were always jealous of my promotion. You wanted it from the beginning didn't you?"

"No! It was never like that (Y/N)!" You didn't believe her. How could you believe her?

"Liar!" Hot, sticky tears began to pool at your lids. You really felt betrayed, broken...stabbed in the back. "You know how hard I trained for that position. All the blood, sweat, and tears that I poured into that training to make sure it was mine!"

"You don't think I know that? You don't think I've trained just as hard my entire residence here too?" You didn't answer her question, instead you asked one yourself.

"How long, Val? How long have you wanted to steal second command away from me?"

"Steal it away from you?! (Y/N), you were demoted! I didn't steal anything." The silence returned again. You both were fuming, spitting with anger now. "You know, this is so typical of you!"

Your brows creased and rose simultaneously, you were shocked. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"It means you need to get over yourself." A low blow, you thought. "You make everything about yourself....everything!

"I do not!"

"See! I'm trying to explain to you what happened, how I became your replacement, but I can't because I'm constantly defending myself against your stupid accusations! Can you, for once, think of how a situation effects everyone and not just yourself?" Val's voice cracked.