Toxic - Luke Hemmings

Chapter 43

When I dropped his hands he frowned at me, but I went and whispered to Sophie that I wanted to go on the back deck. She followed me as we walked out there, and we sat on the lawn chairs that were set up. We must have spent at least a half hour just laughing at nonsense, but I was just glad to be out of the crowd.

Luke walked out to find us, smiling like an idiot. I almost forgot that he was in the same place we were with this, but knowing that made me not want to push him away. He sat on the chair next to me and all three of us started laughing at nothing again. I had my jacket on thankfully, so I wasn't even cold.

Soon enough, we all ended up lying on the grass next to each other with me in the middle. Sophie and I were playing with each other's hands as we laughed at how amazing it felt. I felt Luke pick up my other hand, and when I turned to him he was holding it above his face and smiling. I pulled it away so I could lean on that arm, and I brought my other hand to squeeze his face.

"What about me?" I heard Sophie whine. I sat up and faced them, bringing my other hand to her face and smooshing it too.

We sat there like that for a few minutes, but when Luke sat up to face me I dropped my hands away from them both. Luke was positioned nearly next to me, and when I looked at Sophie to see her fumbling to sit up, he pulled me in. I melted into him, not caring who he was and just wanting to feel the sensation.

"When are you guys going to make up?" Sophie asked, admiring how he were holding onto each other. I went to pull away from him, but he stopped me dead in my tracks.

"No." He whined, holding onto me even tighter than before.

"Can I go find Ash? You're making me wanna love someone." She frowned, and when we both nodded she was running back into the house.

I sat there in between Luke's legs, my side glued to his chest as I didn't want to move. When it actually dawned on me what we were doing, I separated myself and sat a foot away from him. He frowned at me, and when I saw it I looked away.

"You should go find Callie." I said quietly, picking at the grass we were sitting on.

"I don't want Callie." He started, making me shift uncomfortably. "I'm stubborn and I'm a prick, and I've done things to you that I can never take back. But I love you. I haven't stopped loving you." He was picking at the grass in front of him, mirroring what I was doing.

"I don't know what you want me to say to that." I whispered. My heart swelled for him, but I couldn't trust him as far as I could throw him. I hated him for doing this to us.

"I want you to say you'll give me another shot." He said, swinging his body over so he could lay on his back next to me.

I looked down at him, wanting nothing more than to do what he wanted. He was begging with his eyes, and when his hand found mine I looked away. We were on serious drugs right now, neither of us knew what we were saying. You say things you would never say sober while you're rolling. I couldn't tell if he was saying what he couldn't bring himself to sober, or if he was just in the heat of the moment and taking it too far.

"Seeing you with Mike made me realize how weak you made me. And I pushed you as far away as I could." It was when he said that that I realized he was telling me what he didn't have the guts to tell me sober. It all made sense, but it didn't make it right. He put me through hell the last month, and it was all because he was scared again.

"I've been dying on the inside for weeks, and the only reason you can even own up to it is because you're high as a kite." I told him, pulling my hand away from his and dropping onto my back. He sat up and looked down at me while I watched the stars.