His Muse

είκοσι δύο | principio ad finem

22 | the beginning of the end

"No James" I retorted, "she's not here at the moment" I finished, gripping the door tightly to slam it back but he stepped in.

"Aren't you going to let me in? I keep this place running" he said, the puffs of smoke from his dying cigarette butt on the steps floating into the room. I sat across from him, fearful of if he'd attack me again.

"You look beautiful today Ivory, you're really filling out that top aren't you" he asked, snidely as he got up to sit by me, reeking of beer.

"Thank you" I replied, shifting towards the arm of the chair, away from him.

He inched closer and started stroking my thigh, and once again, my body betrayed my spirit and froze, "nothing in life is free Ivory, I know you know that, it's such a shame she doesn't"

"Please don't do this" I begged, looking down at his fat fingers on my thigh.

5:56pm

"Don't make this into something" he whispered, "you know what they say about that fantastical imagination of yours" he continued, his hands now cupping my breast and squeezing it so tightly, it hurt. A whimper escaped from my throat and I clasped my hands over my mouth quickly, which in turn shoved his hands away.

"You fucking bitch!" he shouted and slapped me hard across the face, his hot, breath heavy with the unwelcome stench of alcohol. He grabbed my throat and slammed my head on the arm of the chair, I was now lying down, gripping his wrist tightly and pleading with him to stop.

Deescalate the situation Ivory. Deescalate the situation.

5:57pm.

"I'm sorry" I apologised, letting go of his wrists. His face now red and veiny as he squeezed for a few seconds before he let go. I coughed out and drew in a large breath, coughing again as my heart rate slowed down. My eyes were hot with blood and my fingers were cold.

He pulled himself off me and sat down again, cursing and swearing in annoyance.

"Gimme your hand" he ordered, grabbing my right hand and ripping it away from where it was interlocked with my left and placing it on his private part, "look what you've done now" he stated as he moved my hands around it, closing his eyes and leaning his head back.

I choked back all the angry tears forming in my throat, waiting for the clock on the wall to hit six pm so he could get up and leave for work.

5:58pm.

He got up, unzipped his jeans and rearranged his penis. He looked at me, now with an awakened disgust like he always did when he was done.

"Take this and use it to pay the electricity bill and fill up the cupboards" he instructed, chucking a few notes at me, "tell that bitch I'll see her tomorrow morning" he said.

I nodded and picked up the notes.

"You seduced me again" James said before opening the creaky door and slamming it shut. I heard his boots sound loudly on the steps, and then with a loud click, he sped off down the street with his motorcycle tires eating up the pavement.

I burst out crying, getting up and staggering into the shower with tear-filled eyes. Essentially, he kept a roof over our heads and I knew that my mother would never talk to me again if I stole that from her. The mother I knew would have stood by me but this woman here, was not the woman who had given me life.

I winced in pain as I scrubbed my chest, unsure of if I would bruise again or not. The hot water was just fading out when she burst in.

"Ivory!" she shouted, clearly inebriated, " are you home? Come and make me something" she said, followed by the blunt thump of her shoes being kicked off on the cracked floor and then a soft thud on the sofa, signalling the beginning of her long, restless slumber. Thankfully, it cut off her daily mumbling of all the job vacancies she went to inquire about, though she knew that both Briony and I were aware that she was not looking for jobs.