His Muse

δεκατέσσερα (14) | conscientia

"Come in" I said, hurrying Noah into the house and slamming the door forcefully behind us, though I knew that Noah had been careful enough to not be followed, the stakes were much higher now. He laughed at my hurried actions, "I was extra careful" he chortled, unbuttoning his coat, "what was it you said you had?"

I paused, looking at him anxiously before I pulled the kitchen drawer open and grabbed the document. Eagerly, I thrust it into Noah hands, "look" I commanded, pointing at the scribbles "and there were tons of photographs of you too" I added as my eyes darted between his face and the piece of paper, my fingers rubbing my arms.

Noah heaved a sigh and pulled out a chair to study the document properly, "Ivory, sit down" he remarked, patting the chair next to him, "this is a good thing... with me on his radar, he is going to be even more careless which is why your continuous information will help... become even more valuable" he glanced at me and cracked a smile. Hesitantly, I grinned back, aware that the fear he tried to mask was glaringly similar to mine.

"I think you should lay low and I should stop for a while... at least" I suggested, "this way, his attention diverts for a few weeks"

"Weeks!" Noah asked, perplexed, his earlier reassuring tone jettisoned, "Ivory, this is what he wants"

"No"

"Yes, that is what he does... every...single...time" he tailed off, shaking his head.

"You have done this multiple times?"

"This as in attempting to serve justice? Yes I have, we need to nail this fucker for sure now" he declared, slamming his hand on the table, "sorry...but I cannot stand by and let this man get away with these atrocities"

"What atrocities?"

"These, Ivory" he said, sliding his phone out and opening a file of photos, "these are all the people he has killed in this year alone" he informed me, scrolling through a series of images slowly.

Aghast, I watched as he swiped and swiped through decapitated heads, bones, naked children with their faces hanging off on their parents - whose hands and feet were tied and seemingly welded shut by their frozen blood.

"What the fuck am I looking at?" I managed to voice out, the images burning a hole into the retinas of my eyes.

"Theo's doing, whether indirectly or directly... these are the people that were brave enough to 'betray' his dictatorial regime... I have lost friends of the resistance through this, women and children I promised security, men who left the only thing they knew in hope of a better tomorrow, one filled with happiness and freedom" he told me. His hands had stopped swiping now, and his eyes had glazed over as he pulled from torturous memories.

"But-but-but-" I spluttered, trying to marry the idea of this Theo with the person I was getting to know.

"Ivory" Noah coaxed, "the big houses, the pristine presentation, the 'family' bullshit he is always spewing, don't you think it is too perfect?" he asked, cocking his head to the side.

"Noah, this cannot be true at all, Theo might not be outgoing and all but he is not like this... maybe he is being betrayed... there has to be an explanation"

"Sometimes, when our brain struggles to understand something, it heals itself by giving us a new sense of reality" he paused, "if you are so adamant that he is telling the truth, why did you look for this and steal it?" he asked, flippantly waving the piece of paper in the air, "because some part of you knows that Theo only manages to keep his demons at bay when he is in control ...like that night"

"So you do believe me?" I expressed, tucking my hair behind my ears.

"It seems a more accurate explanation than bullets and decay, besides, I wanted you to be sure for yourself"

                                                  ******************************************

"Twice in two weeks, we're getting lucky" Autumn remarked as she placed a huge, charcoal dish of roasted potatoes on our side of the table.

I grinned back, "I need to understand how this all works" I replied, helping her clear the area for another massive dish of potatoes, "so you eat together every night I've gathered?"

"Yes" Theo interjected, pouring wine for those who opted for it, "sometimes, I get to see them once or twice a week so I enjoy hearing what people have spent the week doing"

"Aaah micromanaging" I tutted, hearing Noah's words in my ear.

"There's a difference between leading and managing people, these people don't need to be managed, they need to be lead"

"What's the difference" I inquired, as Autumn and another girl who I remembered seeing at the cafe, carried in slabs of steak and steaming jugs of jus.

Mark walked over to Theo and whispered something to him before sitting down across me,  smiling tightly before staring ahead, waiting for dinner to commence.

"Leading means people follow, not because they have to or need to but because they want to, because you have created or have a vision of a desired future reality that they did not seem possible, whatever that future state is" he lectured, fixatedly as he imparted his knowledge.

I took in my surroundings, the wood live edge table, long and wide, stretching to accommodate the 120 people sitting down for dinner. The open plan room allowed for the dimming natural light outside to intertwine with the hundreds of spotlights, smokey-grey laminated floors(cool to the touch) contrasted with the maroon brick walls that demarcated the dining area from the beige  walls that pillared the house.  Deep mahogany wood coupled with glass, completed the interior - the windows, upstairs areas, it was clear that this large house was very much lived in yet so stage-like.

"Is this the whole pack?" I asked.

"No" Mark commented, " we could not possibly fit 750 here, Theo has already had breakfast and lunch with the others". His almond-shaped grey eyes curiously watching me, his light, brown short hair, faded on the side and pushed back on the top - he had definitely just removed his cap.

"Should we eat?" Autumn politely asked, grinning at me before helping to serve.

Theo cleared his throat, as the room quietened down, he stood up, rubbing his thumb gently over my curled up hands, "I am sure most of you have seen Ivory around, it is a pleasure to welcome her as our Luna" he shouted to a chorus of applause, "though I am aware Zach has already beat me to it" he said, eyeing Zach who was farther down the table, "it has taken us longer than most but I hope we can now begin new memories, CHEERS" he exclaimed, raising his glass and sitting back down, I stared at my hands as he lifted off his thumb, as though I could see the heat of his touch leave.

"Theo" a young man shouted instantly distracting me. He burst into the room, his face puce with brimming emotions, as he fell at Theo feet, "thank you so much," he begged, dragging his leg and rocking.

"Stop" Theo commanded, pushing his chair back and kicking the young man in the centre of his chest, knocking the breath out of his lungs. As the lights illuminated his face, apart from the general redness and sores on his face and bare feet, I saw the purple swollen eyes, dried blood stained on his nose and his floppy right wrist. I looked around, as everyone except Mark and Theo continued eating their dinner. I guess their reaction, or lack thereof, illustrated that this was a normal occurrence.

"Get up, clean yourself up and eat some food. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, focus" Theo instructed, pulling him up to his feet as a paroxysm of weeping erupted from the man's throat and silenced the mindless chatter. Mark patted his back and I watched as the man managed to wipe some of his tears before scarpering away.

I glanced away quickly from my inspection as the two men purposefully walked back to the table, my fingertips icy as I tried to cut into the steak.

"Here, lemme help" Theo offered, pulling the plate towards him as his eyes remained on Mark's.

"No I can-"

"There. Eat" he commanded, pushing the sliced steak back to me. Reflexively, he flicked his hair back,  evidently still frazzled from what had happened.