His Muse

δεκαέξι(16) | obstaculum

Momentarily I gazed up at the white ceiling, one leg crossed over the other, one hand crossed over the other across my chest, locked. My eyes darting around the room as I willed my mind to force me out of this paralysis. The footsteps, loudly harsh over the creaky stairs as someone bounded up them, shouting my name and then suddenly, the door swung open, hitting the wall behind it and carrying in a gust of wind. But no one was there. My eyes darted over to the chair across the room as it squeaked and rocked back, my eyes fixated on the repetitive movement despite willing to pry them away, anxiously anticipating its return. My mouth felt icy and sewn shut by a long, gnarly piece of barbed wire, tears fell down to my ears as my brain overheated with warnings to break free, wanting to be released.

Instantly, I heard the wolf snarl before it leapt up and knocked out the pent-up breath inside my lungs. Its yellow eyes stared at mine, its thin tongue running over its black snout and yellowed teeth before it bared its fangs and stepped onto my clavicle, slowly bringing down its neck and tearing the cool, naked skin on my neck....

..... I jolted out to the sound of my alarm.

I let out a sigh.

It's just a dream Ivory, it's just a dream.

I swung my heavy legs out of the duvet, holding my head in my hands and shaking it softly. My phone buzzed: "semi-casual" Theo replied, I inched closer to the edge of the bed, making a note of it before sauntering into the bathroom. I let the hot water ease my fears and lull me back into reality.

I needed to tell someone about this.

__________________

I knocked on the door, clutching my bag tightly to my body.

She peered through the door ajar, "Oh come in darling" she instructed, gently pulling my hand and shutting the door brusquely.

"Good-morning Magda" I said, "sorry it had to be so early"

She brushed my comment away, "would you like a cup of herbal tea?" Magda asked as he poured hot water into a saucepan and removed a scented, short wooden roll from inside the pan.

"Sure" I acquiesced, looking at my watch and hastily unzipping my coat.

She sprinkled some herbs into it before handing the mug to me, "it will help calm down the nerves and reduce your cortisol levels" she smiled at me as I brought the aromatic tea to my lips and gingerly sipped it.

I placed it down and rubbed my head, frustrated that I did not tell her sooner, "there is another wolf, a-a-a brown wolf" I began, "in my dreams, it was always unable to get to me... the other wold, you know the light, grey one always prevented it but now..." I trailed off, biting the insides of my cheeks as I lifted the mug.

"Do you want me to give you advice or do you just want to tell someone?" she asked after I fell silent.

"I just need someone to help me understand all of this" I responded back, taking a gulp of tea and squeezing my eyes as it scorched my throat.

"Does it ever bite you?" she inquired, moving her chair closer.

I shook my head then paused, "I honestly don't know, whenever it just about sinks its teeth, I always wake up"

"It might be representative of remnant of something from Theo or-?"

"Something like what?" I asked.

"Hmm" she pondered, rubbing her white moustache whiskers, "have you considered that it might be your subconscious?" she asked, watching my face.

"My subconscious?" I replied dubiously.