His Muse

δώδεκα(12)| novus

My eyes darted around anxiously as I tried to force my body off the wall, I was still shaking violently, my fingertips numb and my throat dry and scratchy. My eyes were burning, hot and painful and my nose was runny but I could not stop wailing. The hysterical sound, fragmented by my need to breathe once again. My head was throbbing and I could almost feel like blood vessels pumping twice as hard. I was struggling to come to terms with what I had just seen. Was this a nightmare that I needed to shake myself from? I did not know. I could not think of anything to do. It was like my mind was hiding away.... no compartmentalising this memory, to protect my brain from crashing. But, I forced myself to remember it, the cold eyes, the snout, its huge body.

I had to remember every single detail.

My head was banging again, this dull pulsating pain had concentrated in my forehead, intensifying and then dying away. My skin pricked up when the wind blew in again, slamming the door hard and I jerked up from the wall. I staggered around, drunk with anguish and adrenaline coursing through my body. I pushed the cabinet by the wall towards the door to keep the door shut all night. But I still did not feel safe. I thought of calling my landlord and notifying him of the broken door but not of how I would explain the incident that lead up to it. I stumbled to get my phone which was strewn on the floor under some splinters. As I scrolled to his number, I felt another pounding pain behind my ears now and I dropped my phone to clutch my head, my vision was getting blurry, my legs jelly-like and my hands twitching.

I lurched for my phone but missed and slammed my head hard against the floorboards, knocking me out instantly.

*******************************************

The familiar scent of earth woke me up from my sleep, followed by hushed tones and a raspy groan that escaped from my throat. Immediately, the noise quietened down and I twisted myself around so I was now lying on my back. I took a deep breath and sat myself up, the bed was so large and room even larger. I couldn't make out faces because it was a little dark but I knew people were standing around in the room, their arms crossed over their chest, all facing the bed. Had passersby seen me and taken me to the hospital? I crawled to the corner of the bed, tentatively placing my feet on the cold ground before steadying myself and walking to the blinds.

"Where am I?" I croaked out, moving my hair out my face and scrapping the stitches that were on my forehead.

"A hospital" a young woman replied, after a few seconds.

I peeked through the blinds, seeking some sort of familiar scene, despite knowing I was not in a hospital ward.

"Where exactly?" I managed to whisper, my throat hurt, I did not realise how much I damaged it last night but I could barely say anything else because of how rough it felt.

"Other side of town"

"I need to use the toilet" I said, walking towards the toilet, which was ajar and locking it behind me. I closed the toilet seat and sat down, breathing deeply as I started peeling off my clothes. I stood in the mirror and looked at myself, my head had a knot and huge bloodied stitches, where I guess it absorbed the impact of my fall. Dried tears strewn down to my neck and eyes were so dark and red underneath. I let the water thunder down my back, calming me down and washing away the physical remnants of last night. Upon realising that I did not have a change of clothes, I wrapped one of the bathrobes folded in the cabinet around me, balled my clothes up before taking a deep breath and opening the door.

The room was now empty and all that remained were a small pile of clean old men's clothes. I changed quickly and sat down on the bed, deciding my next action when I noticed Theo by the entrance. He stood by the door, in a black sweatshirt and sweatpants combo. He looked immaculate, as though nothing had happened last night and that simultaneously terrified and angered me more. I strode towards the door, gripping the handle hard to close it but he stuck his foot out.

"We need to talk about last night"

"No, we actually should not further any of our conversations anymore, please leave me alone" I begged, swinging the door again.

"I am not going to apologise for what you saw, but I am sorry for how you had to find out" he replied, holding the door handle too.

I swung it open furiously, "Theo, I have not slept properly in months, I have seen the same sickening images over and over again. Sometimes, when I close my eyes, all I see are those harrowing snapshots" I exploded, tears pooling in my eyes.

He stepped in. But I held him back.

"NO!" I started crying, I cursed myself for doing so because I promised I wouldn't again, "and YOU were the wolf in my dreams and you sat there and acted like this was all new information.

"It was-" he interrupted.

"St-sto-stop lying!" I screamed, slapping him. I winced at the instant ache that started heating up my palms. It was deafeningly silent and we stood there looking at each other.

"Ivory if you let me explain-" he started but I slapped him again.

Then again. And again. As I stretched my hands to slap him again, he grabbed my wrists and walked me into the room, pushing me into a chair.

"Stop" he asked firmly, I could see frustration flashing through his eyes as he tried to stifle his anger, before letting my wrists go.

He walked away, closing the door and getting some tissue for me. He sighed, pulling up a chair and sitting across from me.

Theo sat there, crossing his arms as he waited for me to sober up a little.

"I did not know that I was in your dreams until you told me that night, I was not expecting it to be so soon at least until some sort of relationship was formed, there HAS to be an event to connect us in order for the dreams to begin" he began, running his fingers through his hair, "but I hadn't even fathomed the thought yet until last night happened because I have never ever been out of control of myself" he continued. As he said it, I glanced up at him, unable to read his expressions as he looked for the best words to explain himself.

"It was scary to me as it must have been to you and I didn't want you to find out this way, seeing someone transform in front of you is horrific" he paused, wanting to say something before stopping himself, "I am a werewolf, most of us are in this town, we are slaves to the moon - Luna - that is our curse, we're giants on earth but it comes at a cost "

"When you say 'most', what do you mean?" I asked.

"All the people I came into the store with that day, your landlord, your boss at work..." he trailed off.

I sat back, shocked at the revelation, "Magda?"

"No, Magda is a keeper of wolves, she solves our problems" he said, "it's ordinary homo sapiens then werewolves then keepers then Alphas, then Luna" he explained, demonstrating the hierarchy.

"And I presume that you are an Alpha" I stated.

"Yes, I lead all the werewolves in this town"

It was quiet for a few minutes as I let the confirmation settle in the air.

"So if I am seeing you in my dreams, does that mean I am a keeper?" I inquired.

He paused, getting up from his chair, pacing around, "Ivory, you're my Luna"

"I'm moon, a moon or the moon?" I asked, puzzled.

"No... you're my mate"

I looked down, pondering, "so we are meant to be... like together?" I asked, and he nodded slowly.

I stood up instantly, trying to make sense of it, "but Theo I don't understand, how can a human be a mate of an animal" I responded.

"It doesn't make sense to us either Ivory, I am just as confused as you" he continued, "Magda, has only seen this happen once.... nine-hundred years ago"

"NINE HUNDR-" I exclaimed but was interrupted by a knock on the door. Theo stepped outside to talk to them, and I waited there patiently. He came back in, tucking the chair back where it belonged.

"Look, I promise to explain it all soon but there is something I must do now" he said, getting up.

"More important than this?"

"The scent of the werewolf that killed my parents lingered in your house when the boys picked you up earlier, we just found it concentrated somewhere else" he explained.