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You know that moment you realise something. When you have an epiphany and it just hits you all at once? That moment when all your feelings and actions finally make absolute sense to you?

Yeah I had that a couple days ago and ever since then I've been a complete mess.

Hi. I'm Freya and I'm totally and utterly in love with someone I shouldn't be.

I've known her for a few years now. Yes it's a her and no she's not my best friend. Well in a sense she's really my only friend. But the cliché that I, as a gay girl, fell for my straight best friend is not totally right.

We met on my first day of freshman year and have seen each other everyday since. Well atleast I've seen her everyday, standing in the corridor in all her beautiful glory.

Her name? Well her names Rachel. Rachel Meyers. Or as everyone else knows her, Ms Meyers.

Yes. She's a teacher. She started teaching at the school a year or two before I got there. She was my literature teacher freshman and sophomore year and now in my senior year, she's my biology teacher. She's pretty damn smart. I mean how many people do you know that can recite lines of poetry on request? Or can name the areas of the brain and what the different areas do?

Today is the first day of school after break. My last first day of high school ever. This is my last semester and I can't wait for it to be over.

Let me introduce myself properly. My name is Freya Adams. I'm an 18 year old closeted lesbian from Seattle, Washington. I live with my dad and brother. But not for long as I've saved up enough to finally leave and that's exactly what I'll be doing in the next few weeks.

You see I had a sister. And a mom obviously, I didn't just pop out of nowhere after all. They're both dead now. All because of a car accident. We were on our way back from a Christmas party 6 years ago. My dad, who drank copious amounts of alcohol, decided to start a fight with my mother about his favourite topic, the amount of freedom I have in terms of my dressing and how I present myself. Anyway, as he was yelling about how I wore a shirt and pants to the party instead of a dress and the idiot skipped a red light and the car was smashed from the passenger side.

My mom and sister died on scene and I flew through the windscreen. I have the scars to prove it. My brother and father got out with barely anything more than scratched but I nearly lost my life and I lost the people I loved the most. I lost both my best friends in that crash.

Now the main reason I'm moving out of the house I grew up in is because of my homophobic father and brother who just happen to be violent assholes, especially towards me. They don't know I'm a lesbian yet but I plan on coming out soon and I know that I can't be living with them when I do. Hence why I've been working as much as I could for the past 3 years. I've saved up enough to get my own place. And I turned 18 over break, so now I can do it. I'm actually going to look at places after school.

So that's me. One thing you should know is that people don't know about my situation. They look at me and see a privaleged rich girl. But they don't see the pain of living in a homophobic household with an abusive father and brother who love using you as a human punching bag.

I get downstairs after getting dressed in skinny  jeans and an AC/DC t-shirt to see my father at the kitchen table.

"Girl. About damn time. I'm starving and you take your own God damn time to get down!" he scream at me. He believes a women's place is in the kitchen serving the men.

"So why didn't you make food?" I smart off. Regretting it as soon as I said it because I felt hands wrap around my throat from behind.

"Wanna say that again bitch?" my brothers voice echoes in my ear.

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