Calming A Racing Heart

Chapter Ten

          It was late when Joshua returned to his hotel room. After parting with Larcin at the restaurant he wasn't ready to return and face his previous life. Face Jonathan. He stopped at a bar near the river to have a couple of drinks to settle his nerves. It was his hope that Jonathan would have already turned in before he returned.

          Unfortunately, he found Jonathan sitting up waiting for him. Seeing the man he called Father for all his life sitting there so nonchalantly made Joshua want to lash out at him. If what Larcin had told him was true than this man wasn't his father. Wasn't kin to him at all. He was also the reason for all the suffering Joshua had experienced throughout his life.

          "What have you done to me? What happened to my real parents?" Joshua raged inside his head. He did dare speak to that man. The pain he was feeling was still too raw. He wanted to strike out at Jonathan, give him a taste of the pain he was experiencing.

          "How did your meeting go?" Jonathan casually asked. He noted how red his son's eyes were and the disheveled state of his clothing. "Anything I should know about?"

          "Nothing I can't handle. There are still a lot of details to work out." Joshua lied skillfully, just as that man had taught him. Joshua wasn't ready to broach the subject of his parents tonight. He was too tired out from the twist and turns the rollercoaster his life had already taken tonight. Confronting Jonathan now would be useless in the state his emotions were in. Jonathan was an even more accomplished liar than he was. It would take some finesse to get anything near the truth from him.

           "I'll let you know when things get more advanced. I think I'll just turn in now. I have a lot to do tomorrow."

          Jonathan tried to stop him with more questions but Joshua ignored him. He retreated to his room, locking the door behind him.

          Once inside his room, Joshua took out a small safe from the back of his clothes closet. The lock on the safe was keyed to his personal biometrics, his image as well as his retina scan to insure only he had access to the contents. It was also set to destroy what was inside if anyone other than Joshua tried to open it. Joshua kept his most personal belongings in it, things he didn't want even his father to have access to. From a hidden compartment inside the safe he took out a white envelope. Inside the envelope was a still picture.

          The picture was very old, a keepsake that Joshua had cherished since he was a child. He was sure it would have been destroyed long ago if Jonathan knew he had it so he kept it securely locked away.

          It showed a woman lying in a hospital bed holding a new-born infant. Her hair was silky blond, the color of bright sunlight, falling in straight lines around her shoulders. Her eyes were large and bright blue filling an oval shaped face with broad cheekbones. Her nose was slender with a quirky little dip at the bridge between her eyes. Her small nose led to full generous lips. Joshua had studied this face until he knew every line and shadow by heart.

          The picture made it obvious she would have been beautiful if some terrible illness hadn't ravaged her features. Dark, nearly black circles surrounded her eyes and equally dark lines cut into the skin of her forehead and cheeks like deep knife slashes, extending down onto her slender neck. Her complexion was white as the sheets on the bed she was laying on making the lines on her face more pronounced. Her eyes were full of pain but she still lovingly smiled down at the baby in her arms.

          This was the only picture Joshua had of the woman he believed was his mother.

          When he was about ten, he had snuck into Jonathan's office and found it in a pile of papers set aside for disposal. Even at that young age the subject of his mother had become such a taboo topic that he knew Jonathan would never let him keep it if he asked. Instead he stole it from the office and kept it hidden all these years.