SNL 2020

Spring Cleaning in the Summer

Jin: (nodding) You have a point. We were also so surprised when you suddenly announced that you will start living with Dayu.

Me: (clapping) Okay, enough with the chitchat and lets clean up. I mean, I lost Mrs.Tiu to her son last week. Curse that man!

Qing: (wincing) She promised to visit us when she is in the area. Let her enjoy her retirement.

LiPin: Mrs.Tiu is finally retired? Are you sure?

Qing: (sighing) No. I mean, this is the second time Mrs.Tiu tried retirement since we met her. The first one was an unmitigated disaster as the next month, she came back here crying to Dayu to take her back. They were both crying actually. She doesn't want to retire yet. But her son is now back here in China from living in the States with his husband and their children. They will be living here for at least three years. So Mrs.Tiu will have plenty of things to distract her while she is in her "retirement" this time.

Me: (lonely) I miss her already.

I teared up as I remembered my last phone call with Mrs.Tiu where she told me that she finalized her decision to no longer be under my employ. We already discussed her retirememt in person but that phone call made it all official. She told me she loves me so much and will come by once she is in the area. But she is so excited to be with her grandchildren and I wished her luck. But still, the Goddess and I now have a problem. We will need to look for a new housekeeper as Mrs.Tiu was also hers.

It will be hard as we trust Mrs.Tiu completely. For years, Mrs.Tiu treated us like her extended children. She tolerated all my quirks so well and her only request to me was not to write about her that much here in my diary. I even joked once that the reason why she asked me that was because she was a government secret spy. She blinked at me and asked how I know about it and that she has to kill me now that I am unto her.

She is one riot lady. Funny, witty, meticulous like me and very efficient as a housekeeper.

Me: (sniffing) I will die without her! Qing, lets convince her to come back to us! Please.

I grabbed Qing's sleeve so I can shake him a little as I cry in despair of losing my OCD's trusted ally when it comes to cleaning my home.

Qing: (tired tone) Let her go, for fucking fuck's sake, Dayu ah. You already lost. The other side is formidable. Blood and grandchildren. You cannot win against that. Believe me. You saw it on my parents. When JR is around, JiJi and I could disappear and they won't miss us. It'll also happen to you. Once we give my parents grandchildren, you won't be their favourite anymore.

Me: That's a lie! Mama loves me!

Qing: (nodding) Okay, true. You have a point. Mama will always favor you the best. But still...

Me: We just need to eliminate the competition.

All of them: Feng Jian Yu!

Me: (stomping my feet) Fine! But if I won't have my cleaning buddy, someone has to replace her. And for now, that's the three of you!

And now we are back to square one. Where the three of them look at me with already exhausted expression on their faces. So I made a concession. Just the living room and kitchen. We just need to spring clean the living room and kitchen.

Me: Oh, also the balcony and our second bathroom. I mean, they are small spaces, they will be easy to clean.

They served me groans but no more complaints. I promised them sherbet and siumai for snacks plus regular meals. I mean, what more could they ask for?

Jin: A payment. I mean, I earn money just for breathing, Dayu ah. Now you want me to slave away for you?

Me: I let you date my friend in peace. You should be kissing my feet, jackass!