Wroetofreezy One Shots

//33 - saviour {REQUEST}

Warnings: Attempted suicide. If this may upset you, don't read.

A.N: ya boy is back! a little bit sooner than a week, but i really wanted to post again. this is a request from midnightteardrops , so i hope you enjoy it. i'd just like to quickly say though, if anyone ever feels like this, and is considering suicide, try and seek help. it could be from anyone. but talk to people, let them know that you're feeling low. that's important. my messages are always open to anyone who wants someone to talk to, for whatever reason :)

Prompt: Harry looses a family member, and becomes depressed to the point of suicide. Cal finds him on the balcony one night, and tries to talk Harry out of it.

[1230 words approx.]

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Cal POV

It was a bad feeling that saved Harry Lewis' life that night.

He has been getting worse in health, both mental and physical, for months now. Ever since his mum's death. But nobody realised it had gotten to the point it had, until I found him that night.

He's been slowly declining since she passed away. It all started very suddenly when she collapsed one morning. She was rushed into the hospital, and the doctors found a most likely cancerous tumour pressing on her brain. They said she didn't have long, but nobody knew that it was only going to be a week.

He was in shock after it happened. He didn't cry really. It was as if, he just didn't really believe it had happened. He stayed in his room, and became withdrawn, dismissing anyone who came to give him their condolences.

But after her funeral, any tiny bit of hope he had left shattered.

He started declining at an alarming rate.

He refuses to eat. Never sleeps, until he practically passes out from exhaustion. He's completely forgotten about personal hygiene. He refuses to speak a word to anyone. He won't set foot out of his room.

Every day, Lux and I make him meals that he doesn't touch, unless we sit there and make him eat them. Sometimes afterwards, we hear him emptying the contents of his stomach. But we never address it, unsure whether it is purposeful, or if he's just so unwell he can't keep his food down.

Either way, it's worrying.

We considered getting him to see someone, but quickly dismissed the idea. There's no way he would talk to them, and he would never forgive us for even suggesting that he might be unwell.

He gets thinner and thinner. His clothes hang loosely from his fragile frame. His cheekbones are much more prominent. His eyes are dull, and lifeless. His hair is long from not being cut for months, and lacks the shine it used to have.

He resembles a ghost. Not a person any more. He's hollow.

I wake up at 1am with the feeling that something awful is about to happen. It makes me feel sick to my stomach, like I'm about to throw up.

I let my instincts guide me.

I slide out of bed, not bothering to put anything warmer on, despite it being the middle of winter. I leave the room, and head in the direction of our balcony, dressed only in a pair of joggers and a T-Shirt.

What I find on the balcony that night scares me more than anything I've ever seen before.

I find Harry. Sat precariously on the thin, metal railing, with his legs dangling out over the Thames. I know at once what he's about to do.

"Harry!" I shout, feeling my stomach flip when he wobbles slightly. When he turns around to face me, he looks numb. Broken.

"Cal?" He croaks, tears rolling down his pale cheeks. "Go back inside. I don't want you to have to see this." There's a pleading edge to his tone, but I hold my ground.

"Harry. I know this seems like it's going to help, but it's not," I say, thinking carefully about how I phrase things. One wrong move, and he's gone. Forever.

"It is. I'm going to take away the pain," he says, his voice monotone, with more tears streaking down his face. "This way I can be with her again. I can be at peace with myself."

"Harry, let me say some things first," I beg, taking a tiny step forwards. He shoots me a wary glance. "If you still want to go through with it after, that's your decision. But please, let me tell you how I see it."

"I'm not going to change my mind," he says flatly, and I see his grip on the rail slacken. I'm losing him.

"Harry, please. Think of all the people it would affect," I say, trying desperately to stay as calm as possible. He looks at me in the eye.

"My death won't affect anyone," he says, in that same blunt, monotone voice. He truly has given up.

I shake my head at him. "That's where you're wrong. Think about Rosie and Josh. They're going through the same thing as you. They've lost their mother, just the same as you have. How would it feel to lose their brother too? And your dad. He's just lost his wife. The love of his life. And to then have his son commit suicide. Think of how hopeless they would feel."

He seems to be taking it in, so I continue. "Think of how it would affect your friends. The people who have already had to deal with you shutting them out. Imagine how guilty they would all feel if you killed yourself. They would all blame themselves for not trying harder to be there for you. Think of them all. Lux, JJ, Vikk, Tobi, Simon, Ethan, Josh. And so many others."

I take a step forwards again. He's nearly within reach now. "Think of me. I would feel so terrible, if I failed to convince you not to jump. I'd have to live the rest of my life knowing that I could have stopped you, but I didn't. That you left the world after talking to me, feeling even more alone than you did when you came up here."

"Think of what your mum would want for you," I say softly, taking another step closer. His eyes have glazed over with tears. "She wouldn't want her death to be the reason you die too. She would want you to live on for her. Keep going, even if it's hard sometimes. Because that's what true strength and bravery is. Carrying on when you feel like you can't."

"I know it's hard right now Harry," I say. "But ending it won't fix that. It's the easy way out, granted. But staying, and fighting is so much more rewarding. Keep living, please. If not for me, or anyone else, for your mum. Live how she would have wanted you to."

"I don't know if I'm strong enough," he whispers.

"Then let me help you through it. I'll be there to take the extra weight when it feels like it's too much for you," I say, carefully reaching a hand out to touch his shoulder. "Please, just get down from there. We can fix it. Together."

Slowly, with shaking limbs, he turns himself around, and slides off the rail to stand in front of me. Relief floods my body, and I catch myself by surprise as a tear slips down my cheek. Hesitantly, I step closer, and wrap my arms around his thin shoulders. He instantly collapses into me, wrapping his arms tightly around my waist, and sobbing heavily into my chest.

He feels so fragile in my arms. There's nothing left of him at all. It seems as if the smallest breeze could make him crumble into nothing. I hold him tighter.

I make a promise to three people that night.

To Harry.

To his mum.

And to myself.

I vow that I will protect him, and keep him safe from anything life may throw at him. I will love him unconditionally, keep him as happy as he deserves to be, and stick by him until the end.

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