Someday Soon ¦ rosekook

20 - tough choice

When I got out of my room, I turned right and walked a few steps before I turned right again on the next corner. I stood in the middle of the kitchen as I decided on what to eat while searching for food. But to my dismay, the refrigerator was as empty as my food cabinet. There was not even a single food left. I inwardly groaned in displeasure and belatedly realized that I purposely did not buy grocery last week because I did not want any food going spoilt and wasted while I was away.

The next moment, my stomach roared, clearly not happy at the turn of events.

“Hey! I feel you, okay? And we’re going to do something about this.” I cried to myself while rubbing my hand in circles over my grumbling stomach.

I got the phone from my pocket and frowned seeing that it was already  a half hour past ten.

Ugh! What do I do now?! I did not even stock ramen.

I knew that I should get out of my apartment because there was no way I could satisfy myself with water alone. If only it wasn’t that late, I wouldn’t be hesitating to go out right this instant for food.

But I needed to live. So with my pride forgotten and my confidence boosted, I marched my way to the apartment next to mine and rang the doorbell at least ten times before I let go of the poor doorbell.

A few minutes after, I heard a blast of protest from inside the apartment. And I felt myself cower in anxiety as my confidence began to drop a couple of levels down by each passing second. Then the door in front of me widely opened all of a sudden, putting me in shock at the unforeseen timing and the rush of cold air hitting my face from the impact of opening the door in such a manner. I took a half step backwards and lowered my head down, not daring to meet Jungkook’s gaze. But I was fully aware of his piercing stare at the top of my head.

I lightly grabbed the hem of his shirt after I gulped the lump on my throat. I felt like my heartbeat was running a thousand miles per hour from the nerves that was tickling all over me. So I held on to Jungkook for strength and courage as I spoke.

“Jeon, sorry for waking you up this late but I can’t go back to sleep because I’m really hungry and there’s no food in my apartment. So . . .” This time, I risked looking up at him with a pout on my face.

No, I am not trying to be cute. But if it is working to my advantage then I must be doing exactly that.

“So can you spare me some food, please?” I softly added while looking straight into his eyes.

In a matter of seconds his face displayed at least three kinds of facial expression, annoyance, confusion, and complete cluelessness. Then he tried to compose himself by clearing his throat before answering.

“Park, I would never mind your advances but next time a little warning would be much appreciated. Or you’re really going to be the death of me.” He muttered under his breath and I wished did not hear him clearly.

But I did. And his words were getting stuck in my head and made me feel like all the oxygen was sucked out of my lungs. His words were a double edged sword. It rang softly against my ears with a hopeful promise. But the confusion it left me was banging inside my head, making me question how he could tell me those things yet pine for another girl at the same time.

I was still thinking about what he just said when a soft chuckle chimed in the air around me.

He is laughing.

And gone was all my insecurities . . . gone for now at least.

Witnessing him laugh even after I barged into his apartment and disturbed his peaceful sleep was the answer to my self-gratification. I knew I was not deserving of it but I did not care, at all. For even a moment, I wanted to pretend that he was actually happy to see me, whatever his real reason was.