Chapter 16

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I was numb. There was no other word to describe it. The blatant emptiness that appeared in my chest, that filled my head with silence. I just wanted to lay down and quietly fade away. To never see or speak or hear. Just fade away. 

I spent days camping out in this motel. Its grey walls growing closer every time I opened my eyes. Every time I closed my eyes I could see their faces, hear their names. I could feel them wanting my help, searching for anything they could get from me. Mila and Oscar were still missing, still hadn't been caught as far as I could tell. Jack hadn't been strung out, hadn't been killed. And everyone else was dead. 

So, I stayed in bed. Drowning in nothingness day and night.  I would fall asleep and see Dominic's face, feel his knife and the electricity running through my veins. I would wake up with sweat plastering my hair to my face. It eventually grew to be too much, so I cut it off. My hair that once fell to my mid-back, the dark brown colour that I had gotten from my mum, was cut to my shoulders. It was a poor cut, one done with a knife in the middle of the night when I awoke to another nightmare. But I could not wake up with sweat coated hair wrapped around my entire body, suffocating me, anymore. 

Eventually, I found it within myself to turn on the television. And it was just my luck that I stumbled upon the news. Flashing messages across the screen alerting people about me and what a threat I was to every country. How it was everyone's duty to keep an eye out, to report me if they were to see me. 

If I hadn't been a trained spy, a part of me might have been worried. After the news about me disappeared, Justina's face appeared. She stood with a fake smile plastered on her fake face, clutching a stand as she faced a sea of reporters. "The bodies of Miss Melanie Barnes and Archie Barnes are to be officially buried tomorrow morning. Their lives were cut short and their deaths will remain a stain on this country. A reminder of the threat we face." 

I threw the remote as hard as I could at the television screen, watching it shatter and silence itself. I screamed, and realised the empty feeling was quickly being replaced by rage. Rage and anger and it was eons better than feeling nothing. So, I held onto that anger and let it lead me. 

I quickly left that motel, leaving extra money on the reception desk for the television screen. I found the nearest shop, bought everything I needed and found another motel. 

As I opened the door to my room for the night, I instantly missed the other motel. Which I didn't think was possible. The floor was stained and there was a thick layer of dust coating everything. I rushed into the bathroom, ignoring the smell and placed down my bag of supplies. 

After a few hours, I looked completely different. My brown hair, now blonde. My green eyes, now brown. My fair skin, now tanned. I had erased every ounce of my mum and brother from myself, and was ready to blend into a crowd. A crowd that was now searching for me. 

Slowly, I took the microchip out of my bra and threw the bra away, gratefully to be separated from the dirty piece of clothing finally. I grabbed the locket I haggled for a market and placed the chip inside, before securing it tightly. I placed the locket around my neck and ran through some exercises to see if it would hold. 

After being convinced that it would, I started to sort through the assorted weapons I had bought. I could hang around the weapons market for too long as MI6 agents often perused the stands on days off, so I took a set of knives, pepper spray and some brass knuckles.  The knives weren't pretty but they'd do.

I left everything out on the side, and tried to fall asleep. The funeral was tomorrow and I intended on going. 


Leaning up against a tall oak tree, I squinted at the large gathering of people that stood what felt like miles away from me. The cemetery they were all stood in appeared well looked after. All the gravestones were polished well enough that they reflected the sun and the grass was freshly mowed.

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