make it stop {YOONMIN}

falling again

Next stop-Daegu-in five miles.

Yoongi shifts tiredly at hearing this, having been half asleep the whole train ride yet strangely unable to fall into a slumber with the intense feeling of being watched.

His senses and body sit on edge, watching out for him, having done so for most of his life. Yoongi could never sleep when he was being watched, whether he knew it or not.

[Jun. 2000]

"We're not leaving until he starts bleeding, so get moving," the tone of the harsh request no longer threatened him. He was aware, if they didn't leave, he wouldn't eat today, yet there was something about the ache in his stomach that comforted him. It was grounding, knowing that he could still control something in his life. Even when he would get his daily meal, he couldn't bring himself to eat it, and once a week of no food passed, the scientists would force a tube down his throat and feed him that way, so he wouldn't risk dying. Somehow, even with Yoongi not speaking a word since a man died at his hands, they knew everything he would think.

Last week, he attempted to escape. He'd stolen a pair of socks from a drawer near his room, as well as some syringe needles, and dirtied his gown over the week. Having eaten about two meals the entire week, he weighed much less. Hoping that meant his footfalls would be quieter, he took the couple needles he stole from the lab over the past two weeks and picked the lock on his door after fifteen minutes of nonstop attempts. His dirtied gown would hopefully blend into the darkness, while his socks would rid of any noise he did happen to make. After checking the hallways, he made a run for it. His young self eager to the thought of freedom, seeing his eomma again and hugging her, seeing his appa and wrestle a little with him. He almost felt the warmness of his parents embrace at the thought, tears wetting his eyes.

Until he realized he had made a wrong turn somewhere. He hadn't recognized the room he was in since he had only ever been on the table with people poking at him, or in his bedroom, sitting and waiting to fall asleep. He whipped his head around, searching for anything to give away what room he was in, yet as Yoongi felt the force of his gown tighten at his neck, he knew he had no chance. His body was turned around, meeting the eyes of the woman who had personally injected him with every serum they tested.

After that day, he never had a second alone. Cameras had been set up in his room, with people watching his every move. Before and after he went to get bloodwork or tests done, they checked him for anything he could've hidden. They stripped him of his gown and the towels he used as blankets, not trusting he wouldn't try to use it to escape somehow. He hadn't thought he could lose any more dignity than he already had, yet he'd hit rock bottom again.