make it stop {YOONMIN}

cravings

content warning: mentions of blood, violence, mentions of self harm

yoongi put in a lot of effort into fixing things. after finding out his distance hurt jimin and didnt help him, he panicked. he couldnt help but feel like shit, feeling like he had taken a significant step back from 'healing.' yet, he tried. jimin asked him to stay, to stop disappearing, which yoongi thought would be easy.

he struggled to know what to do in the house, everyone functioning well without him. the gym wasnt set up in the basement, so he couldnt spend his time working out. the house lacked alcohol, discovering that they all decided to go sober for when the kittens came. he quickly hated being sober, after being anything but for the past few months, he couldnt sleep, his mind racing nonstop. yet he tried, for jimin.

the hybrid would curl up to him, just asking yoongi to hold him, to stay with him, which he did. he made sure to hold him close, touching him like he was glass. jimin asked him a lot of questions, ones that yoongi was scared to answer. yoongi still pushed himself to answer, wanting to do anything if it made jimin happy.

it was easy, for the most part. jimin was patient with him, giving him time and space to himself, while also spending time together and making small jokes that yoongi found himself melting at. the hardest part became the itch. he didnt even notice it at first, thinking maybe it was cold in the house, or that his clothes were a weird fabric. until it got deeper under his skin, making his muscles ache and his mouth dry. he couldnt figure out what it was.

--

his first meal with them was...interesting. no one acknowledged that yoongi had been gone, diving into their typical dynamic. he couldnt ignore the happiness he felt when he saw jimin had fallen naturally into their group, arguing and joking with them like how they all would with each other. yoongi piled food onto jimins plate, not really paying attention to anything other than his bump. he hoped hed been eating well these past months.

when he put food on his own plate, he stared at it, waiting for the hunger to make him take his first bite. it never came. he pushed it aside, assuming maybe he didnt realize how hungry he was, forcing himself to take the first bite, hoping the hunger would soon follow. but when he took the bite and nearly spit it out, disgusted at the taste, he didnt know how to react. he knew he needed to eat, forcing the disgust aside and finishing the food on his plate. he looked over to jimins, realizing he was almost done and piled more onto his plate, not failing to miss the sparkles in jimins eyes at the gesture.

maybe things would be ok.

---

the itch grew. his head was pounding, which was far from normal. he never got sick, never got stomach aches or headaches, aside from when he had panic attacks, but he knew that wasnt the case. his muscles felt like knives under his skin. no matter how much water he drank, he felt dehydrated, parched. his eyes felt dry, like his eyelids were made of sandpaper.

he was pulled from his thoughts when hoseok asked him to cook dinner with him tonight, deciding he could use the distraction. it ended up working, yoongi falling into a playful banter with hoseok as they chopped up ingredients for soup. hoseok had been chopping the onions, playfully complaining about the tears in his eyes and how he couldnt see. yoongi was about to ask if he wanted him to take over when it happened.

hoseok knicked his finger, blood began to pour from the wound. hoseok laughed it off, going over to the sink to wash it off, when yoongi felt his body alight. the smell was divine, his teeth began hurting, his muscles flexing beneath his skin. he vaguely felt his fathers words wash over him, the warning of getting hooked. it all made sense. he covered his nose, forcing himself to breathe from his mouth, before leaving the kitchen.