Guilt And Faults

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In the midst of a dark blanket which contrasted with blacks and yellows, and the occasional white, there are stars which dot the blanket in the intricate pattern of Kylo's destination. The hallowed path of light-speed thinned out into a subtle light that had adorned itself with the diamonds of thousand moons and one thousand dreams, for they weaved themselves on that cosmic territory of divinity, in which we had entered.

Once concealed away from my sight, when it swirls before me I don't hesitate to bask in its glory. Drowned were now the stars and anchored by them was the globe, which was a vast orbit of divine creation.

The axis of the planet was slow and barely moving to the human eye from space, but you could still see the swirls of bright ink that there were currents of precision in the mess of a world-wide, snow storm.

From my wide eyes, the planet looked like something I had conjured up in my own imagination, in a desperate, childhood attempt to feel something real in the attempts of an orphan who needed a home.

It was brilliantly sphered as if it was moulded by clay, with a snow-blurred contouring of seas and continents in a vague freckling of grey and white, which sheltered the brown and green.

Still one with the stars and from this far, none of the planet's surface features were yet distinguishable, so I couldn't yet see the tall mountains and low glaciers; And in a frail state of mind that was full of unbroken wonder, I turned to Kylo – Who was already staring back at me as he drove the Command Shuttle into the planet's atmosphere.

"Is this..." I swallow, "– My birth planet?"

Kylo turned to me and the bright illumination coming from the planet, which a sun a million miles away, shined through, danced on his dark hair and reflected on his equally as dark, eyes.

He twitches his eyebrows together and up, as if he is watching me with as much adoration as I am to him. His voice comes light and airy in the small space of the Command Shuttle – A stark difference to how it sounds usually in his deep and velvet tone.

"Yes."

My chin wobbles and I have to tug my lips between my teeth to stop a rising sob, "How did you find it?"

He swallows and breathes a small breath in, his broad chest expanding and falling as he does so.

"When The Resistance took you... I tried to find everything about you in the time it took to figure out your whereabouts." He sighs, his shoulders falling as he looks to me, resembling a lost puppy, "I couldn't get my mind off you when you weren't with me."

It takes a second or two for the new information to sink in, even though it is right before my eyes in the loving glow that exudes around him, brighter than life itself. My chest caves in, wanting to squeal and then, I feel my lips stretch wider into a gaping grin as my heart arches and aims to shoot itself into his own body, for it must be a better home for it to live in that warmth than the ice planet he drives us into.

It was ironic that we fought previously about the knowledge of his past, but here he is admitting that he had decoded the lost life of mine – But I guess, that was Kylo in a nutshell.

Maybe, it was my ignorant tenderness that was so delighted with the idea of Kylo needing me so much that his mind couldn't tear himself away, even though the rest of his body was – But as I turn back to the window and watch the clouds crash by in a mystical rush, my stomach twirls in strain as I realise I was being taken back to the very place where my future should have resided instead. The very place where my parents had been shot dead and I was kidnapped for a life of unwilling.

The engine roared and the gravity buffeted around the tall wings; In a sky-born cradle, rocked by the winds far above the grounds, Kylo's hands gripped around the steering and tugged it in every direction as if he already knew where to go. Even as the engines turned, his brain relaxed into dreaming mode as his brown eyes shifted over the horizon, and as I forgot there was a new beautiful sight to take in, I tore my eyes from him and then back out the window.

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