Aurora [H.S AU]

Chapter 28

As if it was possible, considering the amount of hidden weapons I have on me.

But they could try to do something to Aster - God knows she is just as guilty for embarrassing innocent Uber drivers as I am - and the very thought of something like that happening to her makes me see red, my heart racing so fast inside of my chest I even get a bit woozy.

Honestly I have no idea why am I even feeling like this towards her. The moment I stepped in New York and had her father almost life threatening me to keep my distance from her, then actually met her again after 9 years just to find out she became the most annoying woman in the planet, I'd tell myself she was simply not worthy it. She was uptight, bratty, spoiled and frankly, a bitch - the whole package of ultimately buzzkill. Somehow she always managed to push my buttons and make me so fucking mad, I started trying to make her angry and frustrated every time she was around, just to get back at her for being so fucking maddening.

I don't even know how I ended up on my knees crawling to eat her up at the floor of a high end sex club, or why I had to have her all tied up for me in my office only a few days after. When it all started - the sexual tension, the constant thoughts about her in the most inappropriate moments, the thrilling acceleration every time I saw her - it was actually very funny. It felt like an adventure, but nothing more than that. To know that it was something I shouldn't do, to have Philip busting my balls every once in a while only made everything more exciting.

I thought it was only that. The need to do risky things - I've always had a thing for what is forbidden.

But then, there was that day at Phillip's house, during Penny's birthday. Watching Aster all but run away from the party while trying not to cry, took me straight back to when we were teenagers and she did the exact same thing, all those years ago. It was like something was triggered inside of me and suddenly I just felt that crazy urge to follow her and comfort her. I felt she needed me, and I was right.

The moment I entered Maddie's room to find her there, crying alone, everything came back to me in a rush - the fact Aster lost her sister so many years ago, only to have her mother abandoning her a few months later. How she grew without a mother and had to endure the festival of gold diggers her father dated while she was still a teenager. How she had to go through so much by herself and how she used to find shelter in my family, with my mother. How close we were and how much I used to love her while growing up.

And the fact that she lost it all again when my parents divorced and mom and I went back to the UK, never even contacting her again - not by our own choice, but she doesn't know that. In that moment, I've realized how alone she actually is and everything else started making sense to me - why she drowns in work the way she does, why she fights so fiercely for her father's approval, why the only important friendship she has is with a guy who lives in another continent, why she goes to a place like Pandemonium to find relief and carnal proximity.

She is afraid of losing more people in her life. She is afraid of opening her heart and have it smashed to pieces all over again. And she hates me because I was one of the people who broke it in the past.

Everything became so clear to me while she was still crying her eyes out on my lap, in her dead sister's room. She looked so fragile, that facade of strength and independence she wears everyday was completely gone and I saw her. My Aster. My Bunny.

And ever since then, I've been fighting with everything I have to stay away from her - not only because of her father, but actually because I do think it's in her best interest to stay away from me. However, this trip was the end of it - I realized I simply can't stay away from her. And I have no fucking idea how will I deal with that, considering everything, but guess I'll have to find a way.