War Claim (The Claim: Book 3)

Chapter 20 - Animkii (Part 1)

How could he lead a pack in this condition?

He didn't even care for the position anymore. What was the point?

Setting his boots aside and hanging up his coat, he dragged his feet up the stairs to his room. Hunger was an afterthought. One that he didn't think about or feel. He ate when food was put before him but could never finish half of it.

Flopping down on his bed, he lay there limply for a few minutes before crawling under the covers and clutching a pillow tightly to his chest, his legs wrapped around it.

How could he lead and protect a pack when he couldn't even find and save his mate?

***

When his family came home almost two hours later, his father came up and entered his room without even knocking. He closed it behind him and stood there with his arms crossed over his chest. "Alright, Anim. What's the deal?"

"Nothing," Anim mumbled, rolling over and giving his father his back.

A growl reverberated from his father that made the hairs on the back of Animkii's neck stand on end. "Sit your ass up and face me when I'm talking to you."

"I don't want to talk." His tone was as flat as a punctured tire—and he felt just as useless, living life on the rims.

Snarling, his father grabbed his arm, tugged him up, and jerked him around. Animkii inclined his neck in submission to his father's dominance. He didn't want to talk and he didn't want to fight over it. He just wanted to be left alone.

His father wouldn't fold. "Look, I know you're hurting right now, but you can't leave an event whenever you want to. As the future Alpha of this pack, you have to lead by example. You arrive early to the event and you stay to the end and help with clean-up. That's how you earn respect. You are served first and you eat first—that is your right. Walking out is like turning your back to your pack. It's unacceptable."

"You know what's also unacceptable? Someone kidnapping my mate. Someone raping my mate repeatedly every single day. Someone killing my mate." Animkii's voice rose as anger bubbled up the back of his throat and stung his eyes. "What's unacceptable is me not being able to find my mate and save her from that monster and that fate!"

His father grimaced with the force of his words. His hand reached up and curled into a fist over his heart. Closing his eyes, he inhaled and exhaled before opening them and sitting down on the bed next to him.

"I know," his father murmured. "I know it hurts. I know it will still hurt for some time. We tried to find her. You can't say that we didn't try. But her suffering has ended. She's at peace now. She has been at peace for six months. It's time for you to let her go. To let yourself find your peace. You can't live forever in this war waging within you."

Tears stung behind Animkii's eyes as he mashed his lips together, hanging his head in defeat to the truth his father spoke.

"I'm not saying you have to do that right now, or tomorrow, or next week. But you need to let what happened go. Let her go. Let yourself heal. It's okay. She would want you to keep living. She would want you to find happiness in whatever shape or form that took."

Animkii whimpered, his anger simmering down and giving way to the pain in his chest as the pooling tears dripped down his cheeks. "How? How can I let go knowing what happened to her? Knowing that I did nothing to save her?"

His father wrapped an arm around his shoulder and pulled him close. Animkii buried his face into his father's chest like a pup as he broke down in sobs. Guilt struck him down as it did every day.

"You didn't do nothing," his father whispered. "You did everything you could. There was no trail in which to find her. No clues to hint at her whereabouts. We searched long and far, turned to others for help. We did everything we could."

"But it wasn't enough!"

His father's voice cracked. "I did all that I could to try and save your brothers. Was it enough? No, otherwise, they would still be with us today. But sometimes nothing more can be done to save those you love. You can only do so much. Forgive yourself for failing her. It was out of your hands. You can't control everything, nor should you. And when something is out of your control, and you don't succeed, let it go. Let it go, forgive yourself, pick yourself back up, and move on."

His father held him as he crumpled like a pup. The pain ripped through him again every time he tried to lift his head.

How could he forgive himself for failing her? How could he move on without her? Did he deserve to be happy again? Even though he failed her?

You can't bring her back. Even if you could, having gone through what she went through... how could things ever be the same?

---- Author's Note ----

PLOT TWIST COMING SOON.

Next chapter will be up on the 8th or you can get the next 6 installments now on Inkitt! Link is in my profile.

Dedicated to HeartStone Packmate: YuukiCross40 - Join us on Facebook!

Copyright Jo Lee Hunt ( Joflower ) 2020