Cruel Destiny | Kylo Ren

False God

My uniform barely covered my growing stomach, a bump now being seen beneath he thick material but I had found success in wrapping a blanket around my frame and claiming to be cold when Kylo calls.

With more time spent lounging around and awaiting his holograms: my feet were begging to be used, throbbing and tapping on the floors impatiently—as if my body was slowly becoming a dog that cried for daily walks, leash in its mouth and tail wagging.

When I cannot wait any longer, I savour my last warm moments relaxing as that was now all I did. Cursing to myself quietly, as I rip the blanket off my skin, finally forcing myself off the couch and introducing my impatient feet to chilled tiles, I decide it's time to go for my daily walk. The most exciting part of my day now, though it takes much strength to begin it.

Each wall I passed was of tile that was identical to the next without an identifying marker of any kind. Standing in what could be any hall of the Finalizer, there were no reason that left would be better than right, or ahead better than doubling back—though I had no process of choosing. I even climbed stairs to higher levels much like I had the day Kylo caught Arion and I, the first time I decided to escape his quarters.

Starting to get a a sense of thought, my pace brought calmness. Now that I had mastered the art of having a clear brain, the serenity of feeling my own intellect rather than tiring myself with unresolved feelings, I had to fight the urge to smile, fretting I would look like a crazy person.

I had missed lunchtime by a long-shot, not that it mattered anyway for my meals are always being ordered to the quarters. I wondered if it was because the First Order didn't want anyone to know who I was, and that maybe I wasn't supposed to be walking around as I did so this very moment—but I couldn't care less.

My boots weren't made for walking this long, the leather too tight, but there was nothing I could do about it other than what I have done already: wearing thinner socks and not lacing them as tight as I would've before I had become pregnant.

Remembering the difference in my body, I wrap my arms around my abdomen, attempting to hide the roundness that slightly poked out. Again, my body no longer felt like it was mine anymore... and though, I had no ounce of unloving for the being within me, I felt like a traitor that I felt so different... I felt guilty that all I wished was to go back to the way things were before—but maybe, that was the inkling of undeniable fear for both me, and the child, that whispered such wants in my ear.

StormTroopers, engineers, servants and even some men who dressed importantly enough for me to know they were higher up than the rest, passed by; though, none of them paid me any attention, much too busy on their own path to notice me on mine.

I could get lost in these hallways, always too focussed in my own surroundings, but after last week when I had completely lost my way on one of the lower floors, I had to keep some focus as to where I was going.

These walks were the best parts of my day, but like every great moment of clarity, it always seems to be interrupted as I walk around the corner to another busy hallway...

Someone calls my name.

Snapping my head in the direction where the voice came from, hidden behind a group of StormTroopers, my heart jolted for a moment, terrified that a General of the First Order had caught me out of my quarters.
But when I truely find the face to the voice, my eyes go wide and my heart truely pulsates.

Black uniform, stiff and crisp, and a servant by his side holding a stack of papers, it was Four. I stop dead in my tracks and clench my fists so tight that my nails dig into the palm of my hand, but I barely notice anything other than the boy I knew so well.