Greenie

Chapter 8: It's Gonna Be Allright

Newt's POV

Y/N has been acting different, something's wrong. She's pretty good at hiding it and I'm not sure anyone else has noticed, but they don't know her like I do. Her eyes shone so bright those first few days but something happened, she's not the same anymore.

I've seen the way she's caving in on herself, day after day. She is so strong in every meaning of the word, but everyone has a breaking point, and I'm worried about her. That's why I followed her into the dead-heads, to make sure she was all right.

I've done this a few times before, but those were always for me. I know she doesn't like people listening to her music but it's one of the very few things that actually make me happy in this place. It's not really that hard either, this is the one place she lets her guard down so I just hide behind a tree, and listen.

She was singing a song I've heard her play a few times before, when she was trying to trick herself into a smile, but this time felt different. I heard her voice crack on the last note and I peeked around the tree to see her curled in a ball, shaking. No, she was crying. Y/N was crying. I've never seen her openly show so much emotion before and I stared, sort of dumbfounded.

She slowly wrapped her arms around her knees, holding herself together. I wanted to help. I knelt down next to her and wrapped her in my arms, cradling her as she cried. She gasped at my touch and I pulled back a little worried I had done something or hurt her.

She looked up at me wide eyed and hastily tried to hide the fact that she'd been crying. She looked down, turning beat red and blinking back tears, almost like she was embarrassed, didn't she know it was ok to cry?

She slowly raised her eyes to mine and asked, "How long have you been standing there?"

"Long enough"

She hung her head and let out a short sigh, trying to hide behind her hair. I smiled and brushed it out of her face.

"Hey" I said softly, getting her attention. She met my gaise and I said, "Everything's gonna be alright."

Her chin trembled and I pulled her in closer, letting her cry in my arms. Everything's gonna be alright." I whispered holding her close.

Regular POV

You were slightly stunned. You had tried so hard not to show any weakness in front of any of the gladers but you couldn't do this on your own any longer. Newt might not have been the man you were longing for but he was there and that was all you needed.

You cried for a while in Newt's arms but felt guilty. He was being so kind to you even thoe you did this to him. You tried to tell him you didn't deserve his sympathy. That this was your fault and he should go to protect himself but all that came out wes,

"M-my fault."

He shushed you and told you softly,

"No it's not. You're not the bad guy, you wouldn't be here if you were."

You hadn't thought of that before, you had assumed you were working with W.I.C.K.E.D because of the short memorie bursts but if you were on their side, why would they send you here?

Maybe all those times you stood by while your friends got hurt you were being hurt too. Maybe you were as much a victim of this story as they all were, not the villain. You were a prisoner here too and for whatever reason that actually made you feel better.

As you worked this all out in your head your tears slowly stopped and your breathing evened out.

"There you go love, you're all right."

You lay your head on his chest for a moment before realization set in. You were crying, and Newt had seen you, and now you were an easy target. If he told any of the other boys... no, no, no, no, no! This is bad. You pulled away and felt your heart rate pick up.

The last time you had cried or even teared up in front of a glader was at the bonfire. The night Galley had attacked. You could trust Newt, (at this point you had no choice) and you had grown to love most of the other gladers like brothers but you were sure if Galley knew you had been crying, that you had broken, he wouldn't leave you alone. He had told you that you would regret what you did that first night and you did not doubt that he would make good on his promise.

Newt's POV

She thought this was her fault, all of it. That's what's been wrong, that's what she's been going through. I'm not sure where this idea came from but there is no way she did this to us. She's too good for that.

I thought I had finally calmed her down when she pushed away. Her eyes were wide as she looked at me and her breathing became raggad. She was scared but I had no idea of what.

"Newt" she said urgently "you won't tell anyone about this will you? That I was crying?"

What was she so worried about? Everyone here had cried at least once.

"You know it's ok to cry right?" I asked her.

She shook her head and stammered "No, no it's not that. I just don't want the boys to think I'm weak, or an emotional girl, or an easy target or..."

Easy target? What was she talking about? Then I remembered. The first night she had been awake, at the bonfire, Galley had attacked her.

She had seemed fine the last few days but the look in her eyes was pleading and I could see now that had scared her. The fact that no one did anything, and she couldn't run away. No wonder she didn't want people to see her as weak.

"I won't tell a soul." I promised and she let out a long sigh of relief. "Love?" I asked and she looked at me "You know you can trust me right? You know that I will protect you?"

"Yes Newt, thank you."

She gave me a weak smile and I helped her stand up, handing her the crutch. She slung her guitar over her shoulder and we walked back to the glade together.