Between Two Fires

^.^ Chapter 31 ^.^

GAHHH I feel like the end is getting closer and closer but there is still so much I want to say :D

Please let me know what you think! 

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Cyan's POV

"My dad had always had a drinking problem but I'd say my first memory was from when I was five years old. He had been drinking and driving and he got caught doing so with me and my older brother in the car. My brother was only five years older at the time at ten years old. We ended up being left with the police and my dad had my auntie come for us because he didn't want my mum finding out. Of-course my mum did find out eventually. I don't remember it clearly but I remember being scared and although my brother was only ten he was the shoulder I'd leant on for support. Moving on - there were also many nights where he came home drunk and would go to our terrace to do his woodwork while he continued drinking and making an abnormal amount of noise with his music and awful singing." I pause and take a breath. Luca hasn't said anything and I don't dare look at him as my chest grows tighter and tighter. "So anyway - my mum would always make some excuse every night he was out late saying he was working till late. At the time I did believe her but when I grew up I found out that all the times she said that, all the late nights he hadn't been there and all the shows and school related activities he hadn't been present at because of work were actually because he was too busy drinking and didn't want to come."

I sigh. I had never really had to tell this story to anyone as those who were around me already knew about it as it happened. Including Seth. This was harder than I thought and I fought the urge to cry again as I had on Friday. I was beginning to feel like a cry-baby.

"Later on, I also found out that he had cheated on my mum but she had forgiven him for us. Because she didn't want us to think badly of our father. Anyway, that isn't even what made me cut contact." I shrug, "When I was around nine or so we went on an all inclusive holiday. That was a mistake since alcohol was also inclusive. He ended up getting so drunk and making such a scene that we were kicked out in the middle of the night. That night we thought would be enough for him to get a hang of his problem but not even that made him sober up. I just remember - the look on the receptionists face as he informed my-my " I pause. "My mum that we had to go. He l-looked straight at me with such sad eyes...." I bite down on my lip as the first tear escapes my eyes but I wipe it away discretely. 

I take a deep breath and continue, - "So a couple of years later it got even worse. My mum had always stayed at home and taken care of us never really going with her own friends. Even on the odd night she would have a work thing; she didn't want to go because she couldn't trust my dad to be present to take care of us. I actually remember one particular night where he never appeared and she had already left. My brother had plans with his friend and he was furious. Not at me but at my father. He left a note for my parents and took me with him and his friends to watch a movie. Honestly - he is such a good brother and to this day I don't think I-I deserve him--" A sob finally escapes me before I can bite it back and within a second I'm in Luca's arms. He is holding me tightly as he had a couple of nights ago. This time his hand pulls my head on his shoulder as I sob and the tears flow down my cheeks.

"Shhh. Of course you do. Your brother sounds amazing but I know you are amazing. You are strong, warm-hearted and funny - An angel in comparison to most people I know.  I bet your brother feels the same way. Sorry Cyan - sorry I asked. I-I didn't mean to hurt you." His own voice is shaky with worry as he hugs me tightly to him. I let myself take in his comfort as I cry. I had never realised how much I needed it but his comforting arms felt like a safe place and although I felt guilty as I sobbed into his arms -  I just simply couldn't stop myself. It was similar to when I was sad and heard my mum's voice.