ship-chil

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"what is it?" i curiously asked as i plopped to the bench.

"there are lots of things i want to say," he starts as he starts fiddling with his fingers. "i've caused a lot of trouble for you and im sorry for that." 

"you're always telling me that! stop apologizing, you know that there are times im the one who's at fault!" i chuckled, trying to lighten the atmosphere but he still got his nervous face on.

"thank you--," he stops when i started shaking my head side wards, tuttering.

"you have a lot of things to be thankful for, you're always like that! tell me what you really want to tell me! stop playing around the bush," i push him softly, making him sigh. "what is it that makes you so nervous?" i chuckled. for a few minutes he remained silent, but i grew more curious. "what is it?" i teased him a few more times, before dropping my jaw open.

"im leaving," he looks at me straight in the eyes. "im leaving with yoosung.. next semester, bohyun will stay, and they don't know im leaving with yoosung," he muttered, but even though it was inaudible for the others, it was very clear for me.

"..what," i snorted, preparing myself to laugh at his joke. "what are you saying?" i nervously chuckled, trying not to let what he said sink into mind. 

"hyerin.." he reaches out for my hand when i stood up, preventing my tears to drop. "please, listen to me." he begs, dropping his head. 

"stop joking around, dohyun." i push his head, and when he leans his head back to face me, he was already messily crying. 

that's where i knew that everything he was saying is true.

"we've been planning for it since we were kids," he started while sniffing. "it was one of my dreams, hyerin. go to states with my best friends, study college there, and work there. we planned everything since then, hyerin." he droops his head once again while tears overloaded myeyes, it started dropping helplessly. 

"i can't even," i wipe my face harshly, sniffing. he stands up, trying to hug me but i push him away. "i can't apprehend anything you're saying," still trying to laugh, hopelessly praying this was a dream, or a mere joke. 

we both stood there crying, the silence thickened as everything passed through my mind. i try my best to stop the tears, but it doesn't. dohyun was crying in front of me, because of me. but for the last time, i wanted to hold onto him.

"don't go," i mutter then he bursts into tears more.

"hyerin," he utterly crouches in front of me while he holds my hand with both of his. i used my other hand to wipe and cover my face, trying not to let him see my worse when it comes to him. 

"why? can't i be selfish just this one time?" i desperately whisper and pulled him to stand. "7 years, dohyun! 7 years! everybody in the whole school knows i've liked you for that long! and this was a great time! you were starting to open up to us with your confidence, we were finally seeing the real lee dohyun!" i repeatedly hit his chest miserably, "lee dohyun, just this one time im latching onto you," i stop and trembled tremendously in front of him, locking my eyes with him. "and you're pushing me away?" i probably looked so hopeless. i was breaking down, but was still acting so brave in front of him. 

"hyerin," he starts with a blank face, his face damp from crying. "i've liked yoosung for all this years, and its the perfect opportunity for me to catch up with her," he boldly said, 

after my confession.

i laugh sarcastically, tears seemed to be an ocean right now. i continued to laugh while laughing at him.

"sure," i smile at him, lips quivering from stopping the tears. "do what your heart wants," i nod at him, the pain in my stomach was not a match for the pain in my heart. "go for it," i held my chest for assistance. "good luck then." i slowly stepped away from him, biting my lips until i tasted blood. i turned my back as i was nearing the door inside, just then bursts into another pool of tears. 

"hyerin-ah," he pulls my arm once again, but it didn't even took me a second to break free from his grip. the moment i got inside, i leaned on the wall, caressing my stomach which finally, caused me more pain at the moment.

 after a few more minutes of grieving, i set my mind straight then started heading to my room.

as i make my way to the room, at a far distance, i saw bohyun leaning on the wall, obviously waiting for someone. i sigh as i fake a smile, as if it wasn't obvious for me that i literally cried a gallon.

"hey--," he stops when he saw my face. "what the hell happened to you?" i raise my eyebrows at him, asking. because i know that once i talk, my voice will break. if my voice cracks, i'll cry once again. "what the fuckery did he tell you?" i sighed as i pat him in his arms, shaking my head side wards. 

i open the door carefully, afraid to wake anyone more to see my face. everyone was sleeping peacefully after days and i couldn't be more glad. i immediately made my way to the bathroom to wash my face, and it also relieved stress. 

"you're going to tell me what the fuck's going on," bohyun started with an angry face.

"nah, i don't want to spoil anything for dohyun," i chuckled after i drank water, soaking my dry throat. "anyways, when are you leaving?" i ask, changing the topic. might as well know when he's leaving.

"don't change the topic!" he furrows his eyebrows and glares at me. "but next next month, immediately after semester," his face instantly changes to a sweet one. "what happened?" he asks again.

"nothing happened," i smile at him. "believe me," i even winked. "now help me disinfect my wound," i pull him to the table where the first aid is. i slowly lift my shirt to reveal a rather huge cut that has been stitched.

"what the fuck did you do that the stitches were cut!" he exclaims which made everyone jolt up. i punch him at the back mercilessly when everyone started asking me. "sorry," he smiles apologetically.

"go back to your sleep, he's assisting me and is over exaggerating," i assure everyone and fortunately goes back to sleep. "can you lower your voice?!" i whisper shout at bohyun who was now scratching his neck.

"it impossible you got that when you were running with me, that's just for half a minute!" he reasons out. "did.. dohyun beat you up?" he asks hesitantly, as if it was not meant as a joke. 

"what the hell?" i laugh softly in front of him. "just put the medicine and rest, i want to sleep too," i hit him lightly. weirdly, my palm stung and when i looked at it, it was red. i sigh as i remember hitting dohyun hard awhile ago, then flickered my eyes around the room to find him.

"looking for dohyun?" bohyun asks, not taking his eyes off your cut. "he's outside, he dared not to go inside," he sighs and looks at you with a small smile. "done." he pulls your shirt down. "rest, i'll talk to him." he assured you and motioned you to go back to your bed. 

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