Chapter VIII

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"As I rise up through each floor, shit gets dark and you lose it all,

I can hear it coming, I can hear the drumming"

A cold breeze of fresh air brushed over my tired face as the automatic sliding doors closed shut behind us, leaving us to get into the car in silence, still not a single word uttered by either of us.

It had gotten dark already, so Antonio's face was only illuminated by the high hanging streetlights and occasional car headlights passing by, but I could see him glancing in my direction from time to time, eyes lingering on my face for a second before turning back onto the road ahead.

Scared I'll lose it, Caressio? Me too, trust me...

I believe he was afraid I would break down crying, do something irrational or simply go mad. But I felt too physically and mentally drained to even cry, so I simply slumped into the comfortable leather seat letting out a deep sigh.

The only noise to be heard was the soft humming of the engine, so, when Antonio suddenly broke the silence I was roughly pulled out of my deep thoughts.

"That was the girl you spoke to on the phone when you first arrived, wasn't it?" he asked, his eyes still glued to the dark road in front of us.

Pulling my legs up onto the seat and hugging my knees close, I nodded wordlessly. Even though he was not looking in my direction he still knew.

"What's her story?" he asked, his voice trying hard to sound nonchalant, but I could clearly hear the sad curiosity hidden behind his question.

Eyeing him from the side I contemplated whether to tell him or not, but after a few moments of silence I came to the conclusion that I hardly even cared anymore.

It's not like you haven't gotten my life in your claws already anyway, now is it?

I was in desperate need to talk to someone and he was the one to offer up his ear, so I diverted my eyes to the blur of passing trees in the shadows. I took a deep breath.

"I met her for the first time about five years ago. When she first came in, she was only four years old and badly injured after a horrific car crash."

I stopped for a second, the image of that broken little thing from five years ago reminded me too much of the girl I had seen tonight.

Side glancing at me Antonio urged me to continue, and so I did.

"She had lost her parents in that crash and had to stay at the hospital for several month due to some nasty internal bleeding."

Leaning my head onto my knees I looked at Antonio, watching his silhouette in the darkness of the car, the light of the dashboard catching in his eyes.

"I had just come back to London after finishing my last mission overseas, so I was still in training. I shadowed different doctors in different wards and got to meet her during my rotation shifts. She was so sweet and unconditionally joyful; despite the trauma that she had endured."

Shifting in my seat to get more comfortable I traced my index finger over the slightly fogged up car window, drawing a tiny smiley face.

"When she was fully healed, she got taken by social services and dropped off in an orphanage not far from here. But it wasn't long until I saw her again."

Thinking back to that day I remembered the internal war that was raging between my happiness of seeing her again and the sorrow of knowing that it could not mean anything good.

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