Liam's POV
I was worried about Niall once again. He had never been so demanding about wanting to enter his headspace. Usually he was complacent or even a little agitated when we tried. This was new and new made me worry.
Legally, we had no right to go with Niall to his doctor appointments unless he requested it, but we still made him let us take him and it still tore up my gut to watch him go in and come back with what could be devastating news.
In the beginning, we let Niall go by himself. And then we found out what was really going on, what all he was hiding and we said no more. Even if we couldn't go in we knew he took time to process information and would be less likely to hide things from us if we went and simply sat in the waiting room. Maybe one day he'd let us up past reception.
On the way home, Niall is pensive and I leave him to his own devices. I worry about the stress he feels to rest and gain weight- the irony not lost on me. I worry about formulating a game plan to give Niall what he wants. I stress enough for the both of us but I know he stresses just the same.
At Niall's flat, we trudge up to his room to change him into a more headspace friendly outfit. He blushes a fierce red but lets me pull on the nappy for once he's in his headspace. I'm pleasantly surprised to see he hasn't wet the pull up he had to wear to the doctor, maybe he's getting better at switching back and forth. I put him in some sweats and a pullover, knowing it may be a little warm out but he'll appreciate the comfort it brings. I dig out his blankies from the bottom of his duffel and we shuffle downstairs.
"Why don't you hang out on the couch, pick a film- something for Little Niall, and I'll get a snack prepared." I see him cringe at the mention of his headspace but settle onto the sofa to surf his options while I head towards the kitchen.
I know from experience that Niall needs a carb loaded diet balanced with some protein if he's going to gain the 3kg the doctor has ordered for tour approval. I also know Niall will have to get over his pride and use his g-tube to make any progress. But, I start with a bowl of crackers, cheese cubes, and cut up ham.
Back in the living area, Niall has picked Finding Nemo and snuggled into his favorite corner of the couch. I lay a blanket over him and hand over the bowl. "You need to eat all of that mister."
He merely nods and starts the film.
Halfway through, he's begun sucking his thumb, bowl emptied and forgotten on the coffee table. I know he's sinking into Little Niall. The tension is rolling off his shoulders like melting snow. Instead of let him mess with his thumb, I gently slip him a pacy, pulling his thumb from his mouth. I know he's slipped pretty deep because he doesn't blink when I make the switch.
Two thirds of the way through the movie, Niall gives into his exhaustion and lays down full on the couch, resting his head on my lap, his blankies pulled close to his face.
I look down 5 minutes later to see him crashed. Rather than disrupt his sleep and move him, I maneuver to a spooning position and decide to join his mid afternoon couch nap.
....
When I wake, it's because Niall has fallen off the couch, bumping his head in the process. He's crying alligator tears and I simply hold him, hushing his cries. Eventually he calms down but he remains clingy. This is my Little Niall.
Once Niall has calmed enough to be put back on the couch, I get up to begin making a hearty dinner. Little Niall must be especially present because he gets up off the couch to follow me around, never letting me be more than an arm's length away. It's hard to maneuver with him that way but it warms my heart the same that he trusts me like this.
After dinner, I decide a bath could do him some good before I lay him down for the night. "NiNi, let's have a bath, yeah?"
He's shy about it, cheeks reddening, but he lifts his arms and lets me take him. I head to his master ensuite where I run a bubble bath and let him play in the water for a while before I wash him. Afterwards, I rub him with the lavender scented lotion that makes him sleep so good and put him in a onesie.
In his room, I'd set up his bed with a railing, so I lay him in it, pulling up the railing, but that seems to not be enough.
"Bo-ok?" He lisps around his pacy and I smile and comply.
Niall snuggles into me, sucking his pacy as I read the book.
I love this cuddly, affectionate version of Little Niall.
A/N: I know, short. But it's fluffy ;). If I could get some comments with motivation and thoughts on where I'm going that'd be much appreciated.
YOU ARE READING
The Pacifier
Fanfiction"Don't worry, we'll always be there for you." Niall has heard that statement his whole life, he sees it as an empty promise. Everyone has left eventually, it's just the name of the game. Niall wants to believe the boys of One Direction, his brothers...
