I guess it all started with my knee. It was bugging me real bad on the Take Me Home Tour. It hurt so much some days. Those were what I called the bad days. Those were the ones where I just wanted to curl in a ball and cry so hard because it hurt so badly. Then, it started just giving out on me all of a sudden. That's when I first went to the doctor. He said it was just how my knee was going to be. He chalked it up to shitty genetics. He gave me a brace and a script for ineffective painkillers and sent me on my way.
The brace worked for a while- maybe 2 months- before it just all of a sudden stopped, and I had hit the ground hard, panting, crying and whimpering in so much pain. We were at a rehearsal when that had happened. The boys had all rushed over and tried to decipher what was wrong, but I couldn't explain. I was completely out of breath from the amount of control I was exerting to not scream. Liam had pulled me in his lap, holding my head to his chest, me whimpering while he tried to shush me. A paramedic tried to figure out what was wrong, but I ended up having to go to the hospital. They drugged me high on painkillers and stuck me in an MRI to look at what was wrong. I missed a week while I recovered in the hospital. They discovered a tumor. And that's probably when it really all started. When the doctor walked in and mentioned cancer.
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