Finding Myself (One Piece Fanfic)

Chapter 87: I am Okay

"Eh?" Luffy tilted his head, tapping Katsu on her head. "It's Luffy, not Shanks. Katsu, stop acting weird."

Chopper's eye twitched, "Luffy-"

"Luffy... Luffy..." Katsu muttered, her breathing starting to calm more as she looked over and saw Zoro and Chopper, though Chopper appeared to be Sanji at the moment. "I'm... I'm Katsu, not Mitsu."

"Yeah, you're Katsu." Luffy agreed, smiling and laughing. "See Katsu, you're okay."

"I am okay." She repeated.

She was not okay.

She began to shake her head, her bottom lip quivering. "No."

Luffy's smile dropped and he looked at her in confusion, "No?"

"Katsu, it was a memory, it's okay now-" Chopper was cut off as Katsu shook her head more.

"No, it's not.... it's not okay. I changed my mind." She shook her head, gripping her head and pulling at her hair. "I don't want to remember anymore. No more."

Zoro frowned, his shoulders sagging as realization started to come to him. He had been too busy stopping her from clawing her skin he didn't take the moment to realize what she was remembering. She was trying to claw at the bran mark that was on her arm, now covered by her tattoo. He was certain now that she must have remembered something leading up to that.

"I don't want to remember anymore. I don't." She repeated, shaking her head as her eyes became more watery. "Mamoru. Mamoru said I wouldn't ever have to see him. He wouldn't remember me and I wouldn't remember him." Her arms wrapped around herself and squeezed as she shut her eyes. "He remembers me... I don't want to remember him. Not after that."

"Katsu, it's okay." Luffy repeated, though he didn't smile. He didn't like seeing his crew upset like this.

She opened her eyes and shook her head again, tears falling from her face now and she reached out to grab Luffy's coat. "Captain, I'm... I want to leave, please. Please." She swallowed, her bottom lip trembling more, and the hand that was gripping Luffy's coat trembled. "I'm scared. I can't... I can't... I don't want to remember."

"Katsu." The stern tone from Luffy was enough to gain Katsu's attention. "I swear you'll be okay. I'm not going to let you, or anyone else, get hurt. Got it." When she nodded softly, tears still falling down her face. "Also, I'm gonna kick that doctor's ass."

Zoro grunted in agreement, "Not if I get to him first."

Chopped nodded as well, "It's sickening what he's doing."

"Luffy..." Katsu's voice was small, and none of the three males around her liked hearing her sound so broken. "I'm sorry for being a coward."

"You're not-"

"You're fine." Luffy gave a small smile, placing his hand on top of Katsu's head as the tears kept falling. "As Captain I step in when you're a coward, so it's okay."

..........................................................

Nobody needed to be told that Katsu was in a delicate state of mind for the time being. They had all witnessed what had happened, the crew had heard. When Chopper and Zoro directed Katsu off to the side of the cave for her to be able to draw in peace, they didn't interrupt. The only comment that had been made was when Luffy asked Katsu to make sure to draw the dragon they had been on.

They all had the same feeling bubbling inside them. Rage. They wanted nothing more than to march down and murder the man that was responsible for the pain they just watched their crew mate relive.