Someone That I left Behind

Something Old; Something New

Nine

I said nothing more, but I couldn't help myself. I instinctively wanted to caress him.

To convince myself that I wasn't dreaming, that this time, I woke up and Joong was still here.

Not another illusion, not another dream. That I didn't have to go through the day and think that I must be crazy to dream about the same person too much.

I caressed his cheeks, my fingertips sliding down to his freshly shaven jaws, down to the side of his neck, to his shoulders and lastly to his chests. The heartbeats were erratic, but Joong didn't flinch an inch, immobilized, almost liked a statue.

This is real. This beating heart confirmed he's real.

I smiled a little.

"Nai....", his voice was a little hoarse. I raised my eyes and looked at him. His eyes showed that he wanted to say more, I understood. But, I wasn't ready and this was not even a proper place.

"Times up!", I said, my voice a little high. "My minute is gone. And I need to shower. Work start at 9.00, so, out now, go take a rest. You can stay up here or go anywhere as you please, up to you".

"No more dragging me out to the street?", he said and the cheeky face was back on.

"Can't anyway... I might break both my shoulders, not just one..", I retorted, stepped down and pushed him out of the bathroom.

After I closed the door, I took a deep breath to calm my heart. Luckily, he didn't know it. The whole time that we were too close, I tried to ignore the distraction and kept focus; to make sure that my hand was steady enough while handling the sharp blade.

That guy didn't know how to be subtle! I could sense, although his eyes never wavered, he was mentally assessing the possibility of a morning kiss. That's why I kept my mouth pressed tight, and worked considerably fast, my blush might betray me otherwise and don't ask what the blade might accidentally cut. God forbids.

I looked at myself in the mirror. My eyes were shining more even with lack of sleep, and the strong heartbeats didn't feel depressing.

Somehow, I felt my steps a bit lighter than yesterday.

Joong

I was pushed out of the bathroom fast enough.

Nine was smiling. The first smile that I saw from him up till now.

It put my heart at ease, a bit. I tried to grab the chance and said more, but the timing was off.

It's okay, this progress in a day was not bad, not bad at all.

The injured shoulder was a blessing in disguise, though a bit tricky, but it put Nine in a difficult place to push me away. His nature won't allow that, and I still believed regardless of how long time had passed, the bond we once had must had been imprinted somewhere in his heart still. Nothing would change that.

I called P'Mhee while Nine was in the shower. To asked him to accompany me to buy some clothes since there's not many of Nines' I could wear.

[P', morning. Your charming bro need your help]

Really? Joong, your debt in my "I need your help" book is too thick already. What now?

[Uyyy P', don't be petty. I need clothes]

And who was that foolish baby that asked the crew to bring his bags back to Bangkok again?

[P', didn't you watch enough drama? Sharing clothes is more romantic]

If he's the same size as you, oiiitt! You are always bigger than him. I wanted to knock your head when you only told me before I left last night.

[Okay, okay. Sorry P'. So, can you go with me, or not?]

Nope. I can't, my flight is due this afternoon. P'Toei ask me to go back to Bangkok, to manage the insurance and contract issue due to your injury on set.

[What? I was scolded for nothing ?]

That's your punishment for acting foolish.

[P'.... thank you]

Hmmm.. thanked me only if you are already cuddling with Nine. Before that, you're just another artist in my care. So, goodbye, I need my beauty sleep some more.

I was smiling after the call. I knew, P'Mhee scolded me because he cared. Without him, I didn't know where to turn to in my search for Nine. Everybody asked me to let go. They said that people that didn't want to be found, won't be. Only P'Mhee kept me insane, kept giving me chances even though he was berated by the higher ups for indulging my quest. In return, I worked hard for him too since manager got bonuses in line with his artist's booked projects. I couldn't pay him any other way, for everything he had done for me.

The sound of the shower ended and Nine went out of the bathroom. Our eyes met and he shakily said, "Turned around, I need to change".

I turned but couldn't hide my smile, Nine is shy around me? This is new.

"P', helped me with something more today, will you?".

"Helped you with what? I'm working, but we'll see..".

"To buy clothes, I need more than what you have in there".

The sound of movements stopped. Nine was not answering anything.

"I know, this is uncomfortable for you, to have me here in your place, invading your space so suddenly liked this. But, what I told you yesterday was the truth. I won't take my chances and find out you'll be gone again the next second. I really can't".

"If I tell you... I won't run? That I just need time?".

"How many years more, Nai? Even if you won't run, I don't think I can live far away and not think that I'll be left alone again. Going home to a big house that is always empty; I would rather lie on the floor here in your room and listen to your breathing, seeing you sleep."

"Joong, I think...".

I didn't want to hear his rejection. I hadn't started anything, and to be rejected again would break my spirit. I shouldn't have said that, but I really wanted Nine to understand the reason of my stubbornness to stay.

"Sorry, I think my throat is a bit dry. Need to drink. I'll be downstairs.".

With that, I walked out of the room.