Someone That I left Behind

Miss and Found

Nine

The morning after the night P'Mook found me sick, I was taken to the hospital. My fever had reduced on the third day. By the fourth day, aside from the remaining dry cough, the fever was gone. P'Mook insisted that I took a week rest but being idle alone in my room was not comfortable for me. So, I had been returning to work ever since then.

Because I refused to take a rest, P'Mook was hogging me like a mother hen. Checking my temperature, giving me food, asking me to sit down every 5 minutes, filling up my water bottles. I couldn't help but smile at her and asked her to stop, that I was well enough to do all the menial task by myself. But talking to a mother hen was like talking to a brick wall. This was the reason I didn't want to tell P'Mook whenever I was sick, because she cared too much and would be out of her way helping me until I recovered.

But, this time, aside from her nosiness, I could see her restlessness. I had noticed that she was agitated for weeks, but since the time I was sick, she looked more worried and also kept checking her phone. Did she have a fight with her boyfriend? Why I never saw him at all? She was not a babble mouth, but it's impossible not to see him at least once.

Eventually, I pulled her to sit and have a little chat with me before closure.

"P', you know you can talk to me about anything, right?"

"Yes, but what is this about? Did I nag too much and you are about to lose your mind, so before that happened, you wanted to ask me to spew it out in one go and shut up after this?".

"Whoa, P'. Calm down. No, I don't feel uncomfortable in any way with you. You can keep talking and I will listen. In a way, I was just liked you, once. But, this is not about me, it's about you".

"Me?"

"Yes. Do you , hmmm, in any way, fight with someone?"

"Huh? Who?"

"Your..ermm.. boyfriend... maybe..."

"Are you still sick, Nai?. Let me check. Ummph, no, no fever. What the heck is this? And why didn't I know I have a boyfriend?".

"Err.. okay...well..Sorry about that wild guess. Anyway, put that aside, for now.. are you okay P'? You seemed distracted and worried nowadays, worse after I was sick. I thought it was because of me, but.."

"I am worried about you".

"Yes, I know. I am doing fine now, but you don't. You look anxious. Anything bad happened? Let me help if I can, P'".

"Nothing is wrong, Nai. Just same old personal problem. You..you just recovered, don't think anything too heavy". P'Mook couldn't look directly in my eyes. I could see how tightly she laced her fingers together.

I took her hands, "P', there's this habit of yours, maybe you may not notice it, but I do. Whenever you're thinking too much, or be stressed about something.....", and caressed her fingertips softly, "you bite these nails..". Her nails looked brittle, some already bitten almost too close to the inner skin and bleed a little. Her hands were too cold too. She tried to pry her hands out of mine, but my grip was firm without hurting.

"Was this about me, P'? The problem is me, isn't it?".

"Nai.. please stop.."

"When will you tell me... the truth about that night, P'?".

P'Mook's face was stunned. Her hands lax on the table, so I released my grip.

I heaved a heavy sigh liked a defeated person and said, "At first, I thought it was just another dream; my memories and dreams seemed to jumble up a lot in my mind. I might not remember half of it, might remember it wrongly too, but you know P', even though it had been so long, just from that scent that remained on my pillow...I knew it's real". 

"So, even if I couldn't see him for a thousand years after this ..."

"Nope, not a thousand years...". Suddenly I heard the soft voice that sent shivers down my spine.

So, P'Mook's surprised look was not because of what I said.

I stood slowly and turned.

"I'm here... Nai".