ANTI - Oscar Diaz

8

The car ride was quiet.  I wasn't expecting the meeting to go down the way it did. I wasn't expecting to see her there.
I didn't know what I was expecting.

The way she talked, she had everyone's attention as soon as she walked in.
She was never late but she was today.

She was still the Robyn I fell for but she was so different.

I hated her
I want to hate her.

But I didn't like the argument I walked in on.
Pablo called her a snitch.
I knew she wouldn't do such a thing but then I remembered that the girl I thought I knew wasn't who she really was.
I had no idea what she was capable of.

Pablo sat in the passenger seat.

I could feel the anger radiating off of him.
He was like a brother to her back then, I understood why he was mad, he was as broken as I was when she left.
But I wasn't expecting that much anger and hatred. I know it must've hurt her to see it.

But what did she expect.

I parked outside of my house and we all got out.
None of us said a word as we walked inside the house.
I went straight to the kitchen.

A beer wasn't going to help.
I needed hard liquor.

I grabbed the bottle of vodka and walked to the living room where the two boys were.
I knew Cesar was asleep. He had a fight with Monse so he wasn't going off anywhere in the middle of the night. 

I used to do that, just to see her

Someone had turned the tv on and we all watched it, none of us was paying attention though. 

I took a swing of the vodka ignoring the burn and i passed it to Pablo who gulped it down. I passed it to Chico but all he did was shake his head glaring at the both of us.

What was his problem.

"Do you have a fucking problem vato?" I asked him.

He was glaring but not speaking.

"You shouldn't have said those things to her Pablo."

Chico was always loyal and his loyalty to her was deep. Even when she left he defended her.
I didn't understand why.

"Yes the fuck I needed to. She needed to hear more than that."  Pablo argued back.

I was not in the mood for this.

"It's funny, how closed minded you guys are. Getting on her throat because of who her family is. Didn't any of you actually think that was the reason she didn't want to tell us. She knew how we'd react so that's probably why she didn't say anything. And if i was her I wouldn't have told you guys shit either by the way you pendejos are acting now" He shouted.

"Keep your voice down my hermano is sleeping.",  I hissed at him.
I didn't want to wake him up.
If he did, he would've been team Robyn.

"You guys are so unbelievable.  And have any of you asked her why she actually left? Instead of accusing her of leaving for her gang?" He questioned again.

He sighed furiously

"I'm fucking out of this place.",  he stomed off slaming the door behind him

"Goodbye." Pablo raised the bottle of vodka before taking a chug out of it

It was going to be a long night. 

~~~

"We should get something to eat Oscar.' I glanced over at Khelani. Who clunged to my arms and I never thought I'd be so annoyed by her action.

It was all because of her.

She came back and my world was now going to shit.

It was a new day but what Chico said last night bothered me.

Was there another reason why she left?
Would we have acted any different than the way we were now if she told us the truth.

So many questions. No answers.

"You're right we should go get something to eat." I announced and she smiled at me happily.

"I say we go to Joes." Khelani suggested.

Joes was always a good idea.

Pablo was here and so was Kai one of the other homies.
Chico wasn't here. It felt odd to be here without him, even odder going there without him

But he wanted to act like a little bitch.
That was on him.

We all piled into my car.

I looked down at Khelani's hand on my thighs.

I wanted to take it off.
But I didn't. 

I sat silently as I drove to Joe's.

The diner was one of the place that didn't change at all. I'm glad it didn't.

It still had the crusty old bar stools and the red washed out booths.

It held so many memories.

This was where I first met her. I wasn't slick at all but she went with it.

We got out of the car and walked up to the dinner.

I froze mid step.

There she was, her back turned against us speaking to Jamal.

She didn't see us come in. But I could read Jamal's lips..the little shit just told her.

I wondered whether she would turn around and look at us.

I didn't know what I wanted.

We went to the booth, our usual booth.
Our usual booth.

It was her favourite because you could see whoever came in and out, you could see the kitchen and Joe dishing it out and you could see outside.  The trees and the traffic. I had no idea what was so fascinating about the traffic but she loved to people watch and I loved watching her.

Loved. 
Past tense.

We sat down and then I saw her walking towards us.

Face blank, notepad and pen in hand.

"Hiya welcome to Joe's can I take your order."
She smiled.

It didn't meet her eyes.

It's like someone was holding a knife to her throat forcing her.

(Edited)