Journey to the edges of civilization and find the hidden treasures in the deep and dangerous jungles of Panama!
Professor Steve 'aka the Jaguar' is at it again, barely surviving his latest escapade, he stumbles upon yet another opportunity he simply...
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It's wet, it's cold, it's dark and you can't see two feet in front of you. You've been inside this dark tunnel for over two hours and you don't even know where its leading you. Your flashlight barely manages to illuminate the ground and so you are dependent on your other senses to help you get out of here.
A slight breeze brushed your cheek half an hour ago, carrying a faint smell of corn tortilla. At first, you thought you were having a stroke, but then you remembered that that's only when you smell toast. So, you quickly moved on and came up with a second conclusion, which was that this breeze must be coming from the other end of the tunnel! Meaning an exit is near!
But sadly, you've been following this breeze for a while now and the exit hasn't appeared. You'd ask your friends for their opinion if you could, but at this point, your team has been reduced to a bunch of silent zombies. Salvador, who is half-dead, the guide, who is succumbing to old age, Emily, who is British which is bad enough, and everyone else, who you repetitively refer to as your 'team' since you never bothered to learn their actual names, are all just helplessly waddling after you like you're their strikingly handsome and valiant mama duck.
Hence, your zombie ducklings seem to prove what has been your suspicion all along:
You are the most competent person on this entire expedition.
You pat yourself on the shoulder, and think 'Good job Kevin Steve, you're top of the line'. Then you scratch yourself on the back of your neck, hiss, and ultimately drive your tiny razor-sharp teeth into the exposed skin above the collar of your shirt.......
WAIT A MINUTE!
You realize that your right hand is holding the flashlight, while your left hand is still gripping the tiny rock-like turtle that has become essential to your mental health, making it impossible for you to be the one biting yourself in the neck right now.
And then it clicks; that smell of corn tortillas...
There's only one thing in this jungle whose roost smells like corn tortillas and that's Desmodus Rotundus, the common vampire bat!
Both disgusted and terrified at the thought that one of them has just bitten you and you've been salivating at the thought of corn tortillas, you drop the lil' turtle and scream at the top of your lungs, "VAMPIRE BATS!" before running off in complete hysterics. At the sound of your voice, the entire cave erupts into frenzied hissing and screeching as you wake up and mobilize the entire population of bats living inside the cave.
Realizing that their home has been invaded, the bats, in their thousands, decided to mass evacuate in the form of a giant bat tornado and so everyone, even half-dead Salvador, is left with no other choice but to run for their lives.
Far ahead of the group, you run through complete darkness as the first few bats catch up, their fine wings brushing past you. The sound of the bats still behind you reverberates through the cave like Godzilla's roar and you swear you feel your heart constrict. You know you can't outrun them.
But then like heaven's godly rays shining through adversity, you suddenly see the light, coming from the exit that you've finally found. You consequently burst out into the open with arms raised above your head in celebration. You are truly blessed!
You jump up and down with joy as your eyes once again adjust to sunlight. But the second you regain your vision, your initial smile melts right off your face. Standing there, staring at you like a crazy person, are your enemies the Spanish and for some reason, they are all holding knives?!
Play it cool, maybe they just want to, you know, talk go to 42
They look hostile, use the bat tornado to your advantage and ATTACK! go to 43
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*Ok I have once again taking some creative freedom here; this particular bat species does not smell like corn tortillas. Instead, it's the Brazilian free-tailed bat whose odor is described as smelling reminiscent to corn tortillas. I don't know what vampire bats smell like- However, lots of bat species do have these kinds of identifying smells that range from anything like burnt orange, fruit jam, licorice and of course fish and urine. So, like I didn't completely make this up, ok! Please don't hurt me!!
