Dear Diary, // L.S

56.Dear Time,

Dear Diary,
Sometimes I wish that all of the fictional stuff were real.

If they were I would definitely get the time stone and just turn everything back to before I fucked up.
Cause maybe then I could've been a happy 20 year old in a relationship or with a good job or just something.

But it's not only that. Time goes by really fast and maybe I'd just turn it back to appreciate something that I took for granted.

Every smile, every word, every touch.

You've known me for five years and you saw me get to where I am.
You've seen me hate and love. You've seen me laugh and cry.

People say that when you get older you get over your teenage struggles and insecurities but it's not that easy. It's not like the clock turns 12 at your nineteenth birthday and you suddenly leave out every negativity.

If anything you actually gain more of all that but everyone likes to pretend that they're fine.

So today I write for you as a wrecked twenty year old who works in a kindergarten and lives in a house that used to be home to his out of reach love.

When he left he didn't take everything because he didn't have enough place in his room. The day I agreed to move in Ned told me he'll get rid of the boxes but I just stored them under the bed and told him that I already did.

I never actually looked inside them but they're labeled clothes and books so no mystery there am I right? Sometimes I'm tempted to open them though I'mnot gonna lie.

I actually left you at dad's but today Fiona was gonna move in so I went there to empty my room and saw you. It's like catching up with an old friend.

Speaking of old friends, Amora texted me a few days ago to catch up for the first time after school. She's attending college and not any college but the one that Harry goes to.

She told me they've met and talked a little. Why does she get to see him and talk to him and I'm stuck in this useless city taking care of people's bratty children?

Ned has been a great comfort. He's helped me keep my mind as busy as possible. He's still dating Laura which I think is awsome. They're a great couple.

It was nice talking to you diary but I think I'm done for now. See you tomorrow or in a year.