Dear Diary, // L.S

22.Dear Father,

Dear Diary,
My dad decided we should have a talk. He said I may be depressed and I have to visit a professional.
Fuck.That.
I yelled at him that I'm not fucking depressed. He told me it's fine his mother also had it so I have it in my genes.
I yelled at him. I cried.
He didn't say much. I felt so bad. I was in so much pain.

So I went to my room and as soon as the door closed I turned the emotional pain physical. Cause at least I'm in control that way.

I cut. I cut. I cut.

Cause that's what I deserve.

After the bleeding stopped I just wanted to scape. I wanted to go somewhere and set myself free.

I texted Ned he said he's taking an extra shift.
I texted Harry and he asked for my address cause he forgot it.

As I left my room with tear stained cheeks I saw my dad sitting on the couch with a drink in hand. If you looked closely you could've see guilt written all over myself. I wanted to just die and disappear to see him like that.

We went to the park. Again. I really like it there. It's soemwhere for me to just forget everything.

He asked why I needed to scape. I just said I had an argument with my father.

Then he told me lots of things. Like how his dad hasn't talked to him in two years.

Diary did you know Harry's pansexual? Yeah me neither.

Apparently he came out senior year of highschool and his dad acted like he didn't exist even though they lived in the same house! That's crazy!

He also told me he's gray Asexual. I didn't know what that is. He said he doesn't really have an urge to have sex. He's not opposed to it but doesn't initiate it either. I asked what if I walk around him naked and he just laughed and said I'm underaged so that's another issue.

I told him I'm gay. He already knew. How come everyone knows? Am I giving off a gay vibe?
Well Ned told Harry but you know what I mean.

He said he also knows about Ezra. I asked how much he knows. He replied with a "I just know he is the worst person anyone can come upon."

Harry bought me icecream. I ate it. Icecream helps my throat cool down a bit.

I told him I'm not sad.

/
-You don't need to lie to me.

+I'm not!

-You shouldn't keep on lying when I know the truth.

+Why do you keep insisting!?

-I wasn't even talking about it you brought it up.

+Whatever.

-Are you gonna give me attitude for this?

+Let's not talk for a while.

-Cmon I'm sorry.

+Harry I want to enjoy a little bit of silence if you don't mind.

-Ok.
/

He didn't believe and called me a liar. I got mad at him. That's how we didn't talk for the rest of the night.

He apologized for the third time when he dropped me off. I forgave him.

I know Harry didn't mean it badly. I'm just really angry these days.

Dad was sleep when I got home. I'm gonna make it up to him tomorrow.

So this is how my day went.

See you later.