49.Dear Mirror,

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Dear Diary,
I looked at the mirror today.

I don't know how I feel if I'm being honest. I'm fat. And I'm not saying that because I'm insecure or anything. I really am fat. And it's driving me crazy.

But let's focus on better stuff. First is my thighs. The scars aren't that bad near my knee. They're actually kind of faded.

I have couple of nasty ones higher up but it's not like anyone's going to see them. I don't have anything visible on my wrists because you know it was only one time.

My waist is ok? I have one big and bumpy one on my left side from the time that I told you I fainted. I have little ones on my right side. They're not bumpy but if you get close you can see were they used to be.

God did I call these better stuff?

Anyways after looking at that monster I put an old bedsheet over the mirror cause I honestly can't deal with myself.

I don't even know why I'm writing this. How's putting this on paper is going to help me or anyone really. How is it supposed to change this whole situation.

Diary I'm exhausted! I'm just out of energy. It's like I'm a robot and now I need to be charged to work again. I need to be alone for a while. This past week I was around people constantly maybe that's why I'm so tired.

The other day I was thinking what if someone finds you? I can't let that happen.

So I promise
I'll take you when I go.

Dear Diary, // L.SOù les histoires vivent. Découvrez maintenant