SNL 2020

Two Heads

Baba: It was my idea.

Me: (surprised at that) Oh. Okay. Then whose idea was it to bring porkribs and Mama's coleslaw there.

Baba: It was your Mama's idea. You love to eat porkribs and coleslaw when we go to picnics. She cooked those because she misses you so much she wants to eat to food you like to eat...

Mama: (sounding annoyed) Don't tell him that! Lies! I don't miss him. That ungrateful brat!

Me: See?! See?! She...hates me!

Baba: (grunting) Stop whining. Are you behaving there in the Wang mansion?

Me: (mellowing down) Of course I am.

Baba: Good. Be kind to Qing's parents.

Me: I am kind to them. And patient.

Baba: Good. Lets end this call and get to rest. Goodbye Dayu ah.

Me: Bye Baba. I love you.

Baba: (sighing) I love you too, Son. Even though sometimes, you put us in positions that makes it really hard for me to like you.

Me: I know. Thank you for always loving me.

Baba: (sounding distant) Talk to Dayu, Honey. At least say goodnight to him.

I heard Mama's grumpy sigh before she talks to the phone.

Mama: Goodnight.

Me: I love you.

Mama: (scoffing) Stop saying you love me and start showing it to me, Dayu ah. Start by respecting us, your elders. Stop giving me platitudes and start walking the walk and not just talking.

Me: I know. One day, I will show you how much I love you.

Mama: (sighing) I hope so. Goodnight.

Me: Goodnight Mama.

Okay...what did just happened? I was supposed to be angry about them taking Qing to a picnic to see PopPop and Nana while munching on porkribs and homemade coleslaw...why did it ended too soon? That conversation...

Huh?

(Your parents distracted you)

I think so too. They have distracted me. Sweet cheese sprinkles! I am still annoyed though! Oh...poor Qing. He has to bear the grunt of my annoyance.

(Poor Baba, playing the shock absorber again)

Yeah. Poor him. I will try to be gentle with him while letting off some steam.

Me: Lets break up.

(*facepalm*)

Qing: O...kay? What happened?

Me: (pouting) Mama loves you more than she loves me! She took you to a picnic to visit my grandparents' graves.

Qing: Yeah, it was cool. We hiked a little, spread a blanket on the ground and had a picnic. It was a lot of fun, Love.

Me: (scowling) Lets break up for real.

Qing: (laughing) How are you? Is Mama still ignoring you?

Me: (nodding) Yes. Poor Mama...she goes to some extra length just to spare me from lectures and stinky eye glares. She avoids me to not give in to her urge to snap at me.