Act-12

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I stood in my place watching his retreating back with quivering lips when suddenly it started to become hazy. I tried to blink but it seemed like the room was spinning around me. Feeling lightheaded, I tried to grab the couch for support but before my hand could reach it, I felt another sturdy pair of hands wrapped around my waist.

"Zaira—" The last thing I remember before passing out was the panic in his eyes.

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"Zaira!" I could hear the urgency in his voice but even after trying, it was becoming impossible to keep my eyes open. After trying for a while, I finally pried my eyes open to find him kneeling beside me.

"Hey." he remarked softly with worry etched over his face. I realised moments later that I was lying on the couch and to lift my feet he had placed a few cushions underneath. Before I could say anything, he got up and left my side only to return with a glass of juice. After helping me up, he made me gulp down a few sips.

"A little more." He urged, after I tried to push away his hand holding the glass to my lips. I heaved a painful breath and took his hand to take another sip.

"Better?" He asked still watching me with alarming gaze. Barely able to nod, he helped me lie back on the sofa carefully.

"You're still running a fever. How did I not realise? I forgot to bring you meds and you weren't resting or eating either. This was bound to happen. It's my fault. I knew and yet...I should've been more careful—" He went on, without meeting my eyes and I silently kept listening to him, when he abruptly turned to me startled.

"Zaira—What—" he got up panicking and took my hand in his.

"What—why are you crying—Does it hurt—somewh—" Until he said those words, I was unaware of the sobs escaping my lips. I brought a shaking hand to my cheeks and found my fingers wet.

What?

"What's wrong?! Tell me—" he cried in shock, pulling me up and holding me at a length carefully. But I couldn't stop crying. These tears—they weren't ceasing.

"It—hurts—" I clutched at my chest and saw the colour drain from his face. But before he could react, I dropped my head against his chest, clutching at the front of his shirt.

"It hurts...." I managed to get the words out between sobs and felt him freeze under me. He didn't move an inch while I kept repeating the same thing over and over again, like a broken record.

I could neither suppress nor escape this overwhelming feeling which was making it impossible for me to catch a breath. The realisation was so unexpected and impossible that I was rendered paralysed.

All my life, after going through endless series of pain and anguish, I had given up on the hope of ever having anything remotely good in my life. I thought all I could ever achieve after burning my existence was something akin to scrapes of a mediocre life. Not good—just enough to go on.

While others around me built a life centred around love and happiness, I averted my gaze. For I knew better. Holding the mere notion of having something like love or happiness in my life, was nothing but a fool's paradise.

And yet, after spending 24 years of my life, there was someone in front of me who was behaving like I mattered. Who was trying to take care of my every need. A person who acted like he was worried about me and was concerned for my well being. Who held me when I cried, consoled me, wiped away my tears and still stayed with me through it all; instead of brushing me away or scolding me for not being strong enough.

So, how do I stop myself from mistaking this concern for anything other than what it really was? He was the very person who had broken my heart once already and had reappeared in my life only so I could leave him. If only, I didn't know better....maybe I too could have dared to hope, for once.

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