The ALPHA'S little LUNA ✔

Chapter 35 - Frozen

[Kylie's pov]

After last night's happenings, I've decided that the energy I do have I'm going to use for controlling myself when my loved ones are around, I can not keep doing this to them, it's just not fair.

It's just so hard, I can't do anything without reminding myself about all the good memories we share, my favorite foods, nights with mr wolf, telling him about it at the bakery, our first date, same goes with the pudding, can't watch my favourite shows because then I'll think back to all the nights I spent on the sofa with mr wolf, all the nights in bed with Keagan watching them, I just can not. Like i said, it's hard to just be okay the way they want me to.

So today I plan on doing what I've done the past three weeks. Apart of me wants to come out of this state and the other part needs this, I can't explain but it doesn't matter, my heart aches and I can't bring myself to do anything but this.

I miss him so fucking much, all I wanna do is cry and lay here, wishing the world would swallow me whole.

Nothing can make me feel better and I'll never be the girl I once was. Life is as good as over for me. With that thought I burst into more tears.

I don't know when I fell asleep, but something awakens me, I dont know if I had a nightmare because the way I just woke up is as if I just submerged from a terrible dream.

Something feels different, there's a change in me. I feel so much lighter. I no longer feel lost, the hole in my chest no longer has that painful ache.

I immediately burst into tears because I don't want to feel better, I wanted a eternity of misery, and now I feel that everything will be better and God knows it will never be, because I dont have him.

So why the fuck all of the sudden do I feel okay?

Even though I feel alot better, I still know he's gone and he's never coming back and that thought alone keeps me chained to the bed.

I lay and it feels like hours, I look at the clock on the wall and realise it might really have been a few hours just laying there, God I don't even know what day it is.

Just then it sounds like all hell breaks out downstairs, my curiosity urges me to go and see but the thought of my dead mate tightens the chains around me to this bed.

My wolf whimpers and tries to tell me something but I block her out because she whimpers alot, she misses our mate too and it saddens me further this why I block her out but she's trying to tell me something this time.

Not strong enough I push it to the back of my mind, better part of me knowing she wants to talk about our mate and my heart cannot bare it.

I'm so deep in my thoughts that I dont smell it, I don't hear it and then when finally someone bursts through my door, which brings me out of my deep thoughts do I notice.

I'm frozen, my eyes as wide as a deer caught in headlights, my heart slowing and racing at the same time, my skin tingling, my nose buds enjoying the scent, my brain malfunctioning, not believing what I was seeing.

He stands there, handsome as ever, eyes as big as mine, inhaling my scent like oxygen, frozen just staring at me looking like a boy on Christmas morning.

Immediately I pinch myself and start crying. "Wake up, wake up, WAKE UP" I scream to myself this is so cruel, why would God do this to me, I cry into my hands.

I feel him holding me, saying things but I can not hear. I'm so hysterical, I can't go through this. Then I feel his hands on my face and he brings my face up to his.

Those electric blue eyes, this electrical shocks running across my face, oh my, he kisses me and everything stops, nothing but the sound of my heart can be heard and fireworks go off.