Diaries: Colors

Leave Or Stay?

June 13

Jacob hasn't really been around lately. After he made love last week, he made me breakfast & cuddled with me. Then he told me that he had to go somewhere & that he'd be right back. He came back 3 hours later. I know that we aren't going back to that cheating bullshxt. I thought we were past that. I stayed after me made me lose my baby, after he hit me, almost hurt one of my kids, & cheated on me the first time. That's terrible that I had to say the first time or any time at all but I stayed by his side, no matter how hard it was for me. And no he's going back to what he came out of. It's hurting me & I don't know what to do. I call Nicole & ask for her opinion on what I'm feeling.

"What's the problem, dear?" she asked.
"I think Jacob's cheating on me again & I don't know what to do. Should I leave or stay?
"Maya, this is the second time that he's being accused of cheating on you. Honestly, you should've left him the first time but as his ride or die, you stayed. But now, he knows how bad the pain that he caused you was. He should love & care for you like he used to but he's not. Leave him. Jacob is not my brother-in-law anymore. I don't claim him from now on. I don't know him. Jacob Perez who?"
"But he's my husband," I tried.
"He's definitely not asking like it," she told me.
"But--"
"But nothing. I want to tell you what to do & tell you how to do this but this is your choice & your life. Just know August & I are with you no matter what you choose. Love you girl," she hung up.

Sighing, I go downstairs to Chris & Tris's room & kiss their foreheads while they nap.

"I know I have you guys, too," I whisper. "Thanks for putting up with me. You guys are my whole world & love you so much."

Dear God, I know you haven't heard from me in a long while but I kind of need your help. I know everything happens for a reason but why my husband? The one I fell hard for & loved more than anyone in this whole world. Am I not good enough for him or something? Whatever it is, I just need your help with this. I don't know if I should stay & try to fix our rocky relationship or leave while I'm still ahead? An answer would be great but I'm not rushing you. Just protect me & my kids no matter what the answer is. Thank you & still love you. I'll be at church this Sunday. I promise. Amen.

Just a filler. What do you think Maya should do?

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Please read "the songwriter", too. Thanks babies. Deuces✌️❤️.