Diaries: Colors

May 5th (Part 1)

May 5

(Chrissy Breezy's bday❤️❤️❤️)

Well, I'm pregnant again & no one knows but me. It's a blessing & a curse. Good because I don't need everyone to be suffocating me about the baby but then I feel like I'm keeping something very important from my family. But with the infidelity I just got over, I want him to get better for me, you know? I don't want him to feel obligated to love me, he should want to on his own. But back to my secret pregnancy. I actually had no symptoms this time, except that I had a huge headache for more than 2 days so I went to the doctor & that's how I found out. You know who I haven't seen in a while? My mom. I go get the kids & head to my moms house. I leave Jacob a note & I text him as soon as I get there so he doesn't worry about where I'm at. Eventually, I get to her house & just go inside. I see Jordan & Trevor making out on the couch closest to the door. I roll my eyes & clear my throat, pushing my kids behind me. But the thing is that they keep on going. I clear my throat & they ignore me again so I just tell my kids to plug their ears & tell Jordan & Trevor to get the fxck out. They roll their eyes at me but just because she's 20 & grown doesn't mean that she can lose all respect for any & everybody. I call my mom's name & she comes out of the kitchen looking flustered & agitated, like someone/thing just got on her last nerve.

"Hey Mom!" I say, hugging her despite her appearance.

"Hey honey. How are you?"

"We really need to talk," I tell her.

"Okay, well, let's do it now," she says, pulling me to the couch.

"But I brought the kids..." I whispered.

"I got this," she pats my hand. "Chris & Tris, Aunt June is upstairs & she wants to see you guys!"

"Yay!" they said, running upstairs to find their aunt.

"So, honey. What do we need to talk about so bad?" she asked.

"Well, Jacob cheated on me a couple weeks back & I--"

"Why am I just now knowing about this? And Jacob Perez, as in your husband, cheated on you? I don't even know what to say on this one," she said.

"I know. I was so sad but it was a mistake & he promised not to do that ever again," I stated, with a hint of doubt in my voice.

"But at your wedding, you both promised not to do that in the first place," she said.

Touché.

"I know. Then I'm pregnant again, too. I haven't told Jacob though," I said sheepishly.

"Why?"

"This may sound petty but I don't think he deserves to know."

"Honey, I know this is hard but that is his baby, too. You need to tell that man that you're carrying another of his babies," my mom said knowingly. "How far along are you?"

"I'm not even a month yet. I'm like a couple weeks."

"Oh. Well, you better tell him that you're pregnant again. I don't think he'd be too happy knowing that you kept that from him."

"Okay. Thanks Mom."

We talked about how Theresa was handling this because she was the first person to find out & how a Nicole said she was going to kick his ass but she's now 5 months pregnant. We laughed & talked for hours until I finally checked my phone. It was 5:26 pm & I got here at like 2:00ish. I called the twins down & greeted my sister so I could go before Jacob starts wondering too hard about where I was.