Diaries: Colors

Frustration {and Pain} (Part 2)

"...But I'm a sucker for affection
Should have never showed you that
And now I got myself to blame
Why did I let you come in?
I shouldn't have gave my heart away
But I trusted you with it..."

Sevyn Streeter x B.A.N.S.

RECAP:
"Chressy, can I come over?"
-----------------------------------------

"Of course, the door's open when you get here, My," he said.
"Thanks, Chres," I said.
"Your welcome. See you when you get here," he said.
"Okay. Bye," I said.
"Bye," he said, hanging up.

I drove for 15 minutes before I finally got to his house. I opened the door & saw him on the couch, watching tv, stroking himself lazily. When he saw me come in, he put his 'friend' away, blushing & went to the bathroom. I giggled at his reaction & sat on his spot on the the couch. He was watching some football. Ugh. I've seen enough football in my lifetime. I take the remote & turn the channel to Nickelodeon. My nxgga SpongeBob was on. ( Lol ) When Chresanto returned, he looked at me & smiled, plopping himself on me.

"Chres, get off of me!" I yelled.
"You took my spot on the couch," he said, laughing.
"You're heavy," I whined.
"I know. That's what makes it funny," he snickering at me.
"Get off," I said, trying to push him off of me.
"Why?"
"I'm one month pregnant, that's why!" I said.

He jumped off of me in a instance & pulled me back up. When he turned around to face the television, he grabbed the remote. He must've already saw SpongeBob. I go after the remote for an attempt to keep SpongeBob on & he snatched the remote from my reach. He laughed at me & went to his kitchen with the remote in his hand. I came up behind him & jumped on his back. He almost fell over but quickly regained his footing. He held me up with one hand as he kept the remote away with the other. After 15 minutes of fighting, he sat me on the counter & got between my legs. He wrapped his arms around my waist as I wrapped mine over his neck. We stayed like that for a while. He slowly rubbed my back as I purred in his neck. I really needed some type of love from somewhere. After our embrace, he took me off of the counter & let me back on the ground.

"Whatcha doing?" I said in my Isabella voice ( from Phineas & Ferb ).
"Making some ice cream. You want some?" he asked kindly.
"Sure, Santooo," I said.
"Okay," he chuckled.

He made me some vanilla ice cream with chocolate syrup & sprinkles & made himself some, too. After he made it, he gave it to me & we went back to the family room. He sat down & I sat on his lap. He smiled at me, remembering when I used to do that when we dated. I put my head on his chest & began to eat my ice cream. But then I felt something on my cheek. I looked up at him to find him cheesing at me. Little brat. He dropped some of his ice cream on me! I was about to yell playfully at him until something caught my eye. He had some chocolate syrup on his lip. Talk about temptation. I wanted to lick it off of his lips but I remembered that I was married. If I just take it off of his lips, would that be considered cheating or not? I don't know but all this Chresanto isn't going to wait forever. I reach up on his lip & wipe it off slowly while looking into his eyes. I felt his breathing hitch & I got bolder, knowing how he reacts to me. I licked where it used to be, tasting a faint chocolate flavor. He looked me in my eyes, pupils dancing with nothing but pure lust. I pulled away before he could actually do anything to me. I just wanted to get rid of the desire that was rising in this situation. I stood up, thinking about Jacob & he pulled me down, apologizing for all the sexual tension in the room.

"Please don't go. I'm sorry, I just... I was... I don't know but just please don't go, Maya," he said truthfully.

This is a hard decision to make. Should I just go before I slip up or should I stay knowin that I won't slip up for my somewhat happy home? I went against my common sense & sat back down beside him. I was a bit farther away & was almost hurt when he didn't pull me over to him but he was just trying to keep me faithful. We ended up talking about random stuff & he kissed me on accident. He was trying to give me a kiss on the cheek for a goodbye & I accidentally moved, trying to give a goodbye. We both blushed & just stood there for a second. When reality finally hit us, he opened the door for me & I went out awkwardly. When I got I the car, I looked out the window to find him still at the door, looking at me. I waved to him & he waved back shyly. I pulled off & saw him close the door through the mirror. What a visit.

........

Even though it was an accident, I'm going to tell Jacob where I went & what happened because he's my husband & I love him. Coming in the house, I saw Chris & Tris playing with Jacob in the kitchen. When they saw me, they ran to me, squealing at me with adorable greetings while Jacob just looked at me with disgust. I felt my heart tremble with disappointment as he continued to glare at me. The kids looked at Jacob strangely but shook it off when he made eye contact with them. Walking upstairs, I left Jacob alone with the kids. He didn't look like he even wanted to be bothered with me anyways. I checked my phone to see a text from Chresanto. We literally just got done seeing each other.

'I hope you have a good rest of the day, My✌️❤️👍'

Awwww. Jacob doesn't do that for me anymore. I know he's sick of me. I feel like a big regret now to him. But Chresanto takes that all away for the moment. He makes me smile. Ruining my happiness, in comes Jacob, scowling at me in the meanest way. Maybe I don't need to tell him about what happened. He doesn't care about me anymore.

"Where did you go?" he asked, red in the face.
"Somewhere," I said back defiantly.
"That's not an answer, Maya," he said angrily.
"It doesn't matter to you anyways. You don't love me at all. You just say you do because we're married & it's probably like a routine for you now," I said, feeling lots of strong emotions.
"I do love you. If I didn't, would I even ask where you were?" he asked cynically.
"You look at me like I'm nothing that you'd even want to spit on. Your moods go from 'I love you' to 'Get the hxll away from me'. What is your problem? I am pregnant with your third child for crying out loud! If nothing else means anything to you, that should! You show me mixed emotions like you're stuck between loving & hating me. You know what? That's why I went to Chresanto's house. Yes, my ex. He showed me more love in 2 hours than you have in a week. We accidentally kissed but now, I don't feel so bad anymore. You put your dxck in someone else & probably felt nothing while I'm stressing over a peck? No. I'm done with being played everyday, not knowing what to expect next. I refuse to be second place because I know who I am & I'm worth more than this," I ranted emotionally.

Next thing you know, I was on the ground, as he kicked me in my stomach while laughing. I screamed, not for me but for my unborn baby. He was heartless. He crouched down to hit me in my face before yelling at me.

"Don't ever think that you are worth more than me! If anything, you deserve less than me. I'm the best thing you could ever have & you go & cheat?! Well, fxck you, too! That time I cheated was an accident. She came onto me & I didn't know how to respond, okay? But I bet that what happened with wasn't an accident. You probably did that to get back at me, huh? Well, this is what you get! Say something now," he challenged.
"Okay," I croaked, getting ready to defend myself. "With you, you weren't even going to tell me. I had to pull that out of you because my suspicions were adding up. Second, what happened at Chresanto's was an accident. He wanted to give me a friendly kiss on the cheek while I was about to say something & moved. And third, you probably KILLED THE FXCKING BABY, YOU IDIOT! I FXCKING HATE YOU! IF THIS BABY DOESNT MAKE IT OR COMES OUT WITH ANY DEFECTS, IT'S YOUR ASS!" I screamed.

I guess that snapped him right back to reality because he bent down to my level & apologized as much as he possibly could. He tried to touch me & flinched away from him. I ran down the stairs & locked myself in the basement. I cried, feeling immense pain in my face & stomach. I held my belly, praying that the baby would make it. After my short prayer, I felt something in between my legs following with another wave of serious pain. Calling 911, I cried into the phone. Last thing I remember is Jacob busting down the door with the kids behind him.

That went 0 to 1000 real quick. What's up with Jacob all of a sudden? What you think was inbetween Maya's legs? Do you think that she lost the baby? Why or why not? Vote, comment, read on. Thanks for reading as always, guys😁 Deuces✌️❤️

_Zee❤️💛💚💙💜