fierrochase oneshots

[this can't be real part 2]

A/N not much to say here, but thanks for reading. Enjoy!

***warning*** Alex commits acts of self-harm in this chapter ***

~~~1 and a half months since Magnus got hit by the car~~~

Alex (f) (I'll do a male Alex soon I promise) PoV

Alex couldn't believe it had been more than a month since that terrible day.

Every day she would wake up and sneak out of Valhalla and spend all of the hospital's visiting hours with Magnus.

It wasn't just because she wanted him to wake up, it was that she knew that this whole scenario was her fault, and she wanted to be there to apologize when Magnus finally woke up.

Her friends had started giving up hope, but Alex refused. She had to believe that Magnus would survive. Every day, Mallory and TJ, or Mallory and Halfborn, or Halfborn and TJ would come and get her (sometimes him) at the end of visiting hours. And every morning she returned.

Every day when she would show up at the hospital, the nurses would give her kind, sympathetic glances. She disregarded them.

She knew she needed to be taking care of herself, but she just couldn't make herself care. She hadn't showered in at least a week, her clothes were rumpled, she hadn't had a proper meal in days, and the only thing she'd drank was straight black coffee. She didn't even like straight black coffee, but she drank it to have something in her system, plus it had caffeine. Often, Sam would show up and comfort her, and then leave an hour later. Alex never left.

She could tell Blitz and Hearth wanted to be there, but Blitz had to keep Blitzen's Best up and running, so they visited when they could. When they came, they spoke in rapid-fire sign language that they obviously assumed Alex wouldn't understand. But she did. She did, and every day before she left, she would simultaneously whisper and sign, I love you to Magnus.

One day, though, Alex stopped coming. She locked herself in her room, and ignored her friends pleas. This went on for another week. She was staying in there because she thought that the reason Magnus wouldn't wake up was because of her. It was because he was mad at her. Of course, the rational part of her brain argued that of course Magnus wanted her there, but grief and self-pity took over, so Alex stayed home.

She took a small knife and cut a tiny slash on her wrist, cutting deeper for each day that she hadn't been there. Mallory broke her door down just as Alex was making the cut for the fifth day away. She took the knife from Alex and made her sleep. Alex tried to argue, but the exhaustion from not sleeping for weeks finally set in, and she passed out on her bed.

Magnus PoV

Magnus woke up, and saw Sam sitting in a chair by his bedside, and Blitz and Hearth having a heated sign language argument. Sam yelped in surprise, but beamed at him, and Blitz and Hearth paused in their argument.

"Gods, Magnus, you're okay!" Sam squealed in delight.

"Kid, oh, kid..." was all Blitzen could manage before starting to cry.

We are so glad you are okay. Hearth signed. We were starting to give up hope. It has been almost two months.

Magnus was incredulous. Two months. He had been in a coma for two months. Oh gods, was Alex okay? He glanced around quickly to see if he might've missed her, but she was nowhere to be found.

His mouth was dry from two months of not talking, but he managed one word, "Alex"

Sam was way ahead of him. She already had her cell phone out and was dialing a number. She stepped into the hallway to take a call. About ten minutes later, Mallory stepped into the room, leading Alex gently by the hand. What was on Alex's wrists? Magnus wondered to himself. But he didn't dwell on it, because Alex ran forward and hugged him, tears streaming down her face.

"Alex, why are you crying?" He whispered as he held her against him.

"Because you could've d-died and it would've been all my fault because of the stupid argument!" she choked out.

"Alex, can we forget that ever happened, please?"

"Of course."

"Um, Alex?"

"Yes, Maggie?"

"What happened to your wrists?" Alex was silent. Everyone had gone silent, he realized. Finally, Mallory spoke up.

"After she decided it was her fault you were hit by that taxi, she stopped visiting. Before she had been here every day, dawn til dusk, and then she just stopped coming-" Alex held up a hand, gesturing for Mallory to stop. She stood up, wiped away her tears, and continued where Mallory had left off,

"I-I thought it was my fault, so I started......cutting myself for every day Magnus was in the hospital and I wasn't there. I-I made the grooves deeper and deeper every day, until Mallory caught me and made me stop." the tears had returned and were now streaming down her face. Sam gasped. Magnus gently reached for Alex's hand and took it, pulling her closer to him. He motioned for everyone else to leave, which they didn't look too happy about, but still obliged.

"Alex, why in all of the 9 Worlds would you hurt yourself like that?" he was still shocked, but tried not to show it.

"I wanted myself to feel bad for what I had done."

"But there was no reason to. Alex, please promise me you'll never do anything like that again. You scared me."

"I scared you?" Alex let out a soft laugh, and she sounded like she hadn't laughed in weeks. Which she probably hadn't, "I promise you, Maggie."

"Thank you." And then he pulled her to him, and gently kissed her.

"I love you, Maggie."

"I love you too, Al."

Okay so maybe that wasn't as happy as I intended and, wait for it *drumroll*

I didn't like the ending! Big surprise, right? But I hope you guys enjoyed this!

Your fav self deprecating author, signing off!

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