Denial - A Nathan Sykes Fanfiction - AU - COMPLETED {IN EDITING}

Chapter 37

~1 week later~

Today was the day we lay Luke to rest. I was currently in front of the full length mirror, tying my hair into a high ponytail.

"Are you ready to go?" Nathan asks as I look at him and nod.

Nathan's eyes were red and puffy. He struggled to sleep at night since we were told the news about Luke. He hadn't even shaved since we got home from the hospital and his hair was a mess.

"You're not." I say before pointing at his hair.

Nathan quickly sorts his hair out before we make our way to the crematorium. Once Nathan and I get there, we follow the casket down to the front.

Nathan put the breaks on the wheelchair before sitting on the seat next to me. He wraps one of his arms round me as I look down at my hands.

"First of all, we have a few words from the mother and father of Luke." The official says as Nathan pushes my wheelchair up to the podium.
"You go first." I whisper to Nathan as he takes my hand and squeezes it.
"First of all, I'd like to thank everyone for being here. Luke was only a few days old when we lost him. I had let your mother go to sleep because she's been awake with you all night and she was shattered. To be completely honest, she was that worried, she struggled. Luke, your mother and I, we welcomed you into this world with our hearts full of love and hope but, you weren't ready. That day you arrived, it wasn't your turn and we are so sorry that it had to go like this. Your mother and I love you so so much." Nathan finishes as it's now my turn.

Nathan kneels beside me.

"You can do this." He whispers, squeezing my hand softly.
"Luke, my baby, my little ray of sunshine. You left this world just as quick as you came into it. When I was first told that I'd have to spend he rest of my life in a wheelchair, I was devastated because I thought that I'd never be able to have children of my own. Before I got pregnant with you, your daddy and I had to see the doctor. Sure, the doctor was right about the complications we had during the pregnancy and yes, times were hard but, knowing that you were coming made hints easier. Being born prematurely would've brought you complications in the future but, if we can overcome my disability, we can overcome anything. I just wish I didn't have to see you go. Sleep well, my baby. Don't forget that no matter what, I'll always be your mommy." I say, the tears streaming down my face.

Nathan squeezes my hand again as he takes us both back to where we were before.

XX

Once the ceremony was over, we met people at the wake. We'd decided to bury Luke because then I can visit the grave.

We walked into the venue of the wake and got a lot of hugs and sympathy comments from people.

"Mom." I say as I see my my mother stood with Thomas.

My mom turns round and hugs me tightly.

"Eva. My baby." My moms says hugging me before Thomas hugs me.
"I'm so sorry." Thomas whispers as I squeeze my eyes shut and hug him longer, trying not to cry.
"Thank you for coming." I say as Sasha, Julian and my dad walk over.

I receive a hug from everyone, including Julian.

"I'm so sorry you didn't get to meet your grandson." I say as we all group hug.
"Don't apologise, non of this was your fault." My dad says as the tears start falling again.
"I just can't believe it happened so quick." I say.
"What actually happened?"

~What happened~

Nathan climbs onto the hospital bed with me and holds me close.

"I'm sure he'll be okay." Nathan says as my whole body starts shaking.
"I..." I trail off, I didn't know what to say.

Nathan pulls me back into a hug as I start to cry on his chest. We hear the door open as a doctor walks in.

"Mr and Mrs. Sykes..." The doctor trails off as we look at him, "I'm so sorry." He stops as I feel my heart break.
"What?" Nathan says.
"He's gone." The doctor replies before leaving the room.

When the door shuts is when I scream out my cries, my heart shattering...

~Now~

"The pain was unbearable." I say as My mom hugs me again.
"I can't even begin to imagine how that felt, Eva." My mom says.
"I wasn't the worst one..." I trail off before looking at Nathan, "He was the one taking the new the worst out of both of us." I say.
"Why?" Thomas asks as I smile.
"He's been wanting his own family for most of his life, since he can remember. Him and his ex, Paige, didn't get to the point where they were thinking about a baby. He's always wanted children and now, he's finally a dad but a dad without a child." I say as Sasha come and sits on my knee.

I give Sasha a cuddle as we watch Nathan at the bar. He didn't even order a drink, he just kinda sat there. Motionless.

Sasha jumps off my knee as I go over to Nathan. I reach up and place my hand on his shoulder.

Nathan looks at me and smiles before coming to the floor and kneeling in front of me. I place my hand on his cheek as he closes his eyes and lets me rest my hand on his face.

I lean forward slightly and connect our lips before feeling Nathan's tears on my hand.

I pull away and open my eyes, wiping away his tears.

"Everything's gonna be alright." I whisper as Nathan places his forehead against mine.
"This is why I love you, Eva. You're so strong. How are you taking this so well?" Nathan asks.
"I'm not taking this well at all, Nathan. I just know that Luke wouldn't want us crying, he'd want us to be brave and strong." I say as Nathan kisses me softly.
"I don't know if I can do that."